Underneath the Skin
by Syaunei
Summary: Sequel to Crimson Gold. Follows the events of season 1 through Ruby's eyes, canon compliant. Ruby/Mr. Gold ongoing romance, eventual Rumbelle and Red Cricket. There is more to Mr. Gold than Ruby hoped, and now she has a choice: leave before things get messy, or find out everything he's still hiding from her... Her Storybrooke past will be revealed - friendships/relationships.
1. Prologue : Rude Awakenings

_**A/N: **_**Here we go, right where we left off! I'm sorry about the delay, enjoy! :)**

* * *

"Get up, girl!"

Ruby groaned, mumbling something through a deep frown.

"Get up right now! I don't care how late you got here last night, but I won't have you sleeping till two in the afternoon; you have chores to do."

"Just leave me to sleep…" She protested, willing Gran to go away and leave her the hell alone.

"Look at you, did you drink half the bar last night? You're a mess!"

The sheer volume of her grandmother's voice was dispelling the remainder of her sleepiness, and she stretched on the bed, rubbing her eyes. Just what she needed, a fight first thing in the morning. With lucidity came irritation, and her bad temper was already flaring up.

"I didn't drink that much, get off my case!"

"I will get off your _case_, Eliza, when you start acting your age!"

"Oh no, you just want me to act like a shriveled old spinster, that's what you want!"

"Good heavens, no, that would mean you'd have some measure of modesty, and we can't have that, can we?"

Ugh, Ruby was now thoroughly pissed off and had no desire to continue the fight; it had to stop before this soft pulse inside her head would evolve into a massive headache.

"Fine, I'm getting up, see?" She stood up and swayed slightly, stumbling to the bathroom to prove her point and, with some luck, slam the door into Granny's face – that would shut her up.

"Where were you last night?" The old woman's voice was stern and accusatory, neither of which Ruby appreciated at the moment. She'd have to twist the facts in a way which would appease the old bat without actually revealing anything.

"On a date."

"Did you use protection?" Ruby choked for a moment, risking a glance at her cross grandma.

"I'm not a moron!" Her voice was more than a bit outraged. "But no, I didn't use any, because _nothing_ happened – the date SUCKED. So leave me alone!" With that, she slammed the bathroom door behind her and locked it.

"I wasn't born yesterday, girl! Those claw marks on your thighs tell a different story!"

"JUST GO AWAY!" Ruby screamed at the door, her voice breaking once she was done, and she hoped that this would suffice, because she really had no strength to do this right now. Luckily, Granny just grumbled something under her breath and left.

A quick inspection of her thighs revealed the betraying red marks and she grit her teeth angrily. Of all the stupid things, of all the frickin' signs, it just _had_ to be this one – one that had absolutely nothing to do with the man she slept with yesterday.

The mirror was equally unhelpful – as her dress slid off of her, landing around her ankles, she moved her hair from one side to the other and searched for any hickeys, bruises, scratch marks but, to her relief, there were none.

The skin of her back, abdomen and legs was equally untouched (save for the self-inflicted bit). By all means, she should be thankful; counting her blessings for this, but a part of her felt wounded for the lack of the same. It was as if it didn't happen at all, no evidence to assure her that only yesterday, Mr. Gold claimed her in his dusty, disused cellar…

No, he didn't claim her. It was just… Just a one-time deal.

Ruby's forehead dropped onto the cool surface of the mirror and she exhaled loudly, fogging up the silvery glass. It was time to be honest with herself.

She didn't want it.

It wasn't about regrets; she wasn't about to wish for something stupid like turning back the time or some other pointless notion, no, this was about her inability to sense danger.

There should have been an alarm sooner, not now, not after the act itself.

How was she supposed to know that it would feel this way? The experience should have been awful, he should have been either abusive, or uncaring, but sadly…he was none of those things.

He didn't even leave a single trace of his presence on her skin. The realization made her frown until it hurt.

Ruby didn't want just a one-night stand. To her, this stopped being one as soon as his hands wrapped around her waist in what was, most likely, a fully unconscious gesture on his part. But now…it was too late. The thought of never being able to talk to him again weighed on her mind like a ton of bricks.

She felt nauseated all of a sudden and moved away from the mirror, taking deep, measured breaths, and went through the motions – remove make-up, wash face, brush teeth, comb hair. Once that was done, she sighed and got in the shower. The bra she discarded on the floor kept staring back at her, and she suddenly had an overwhelming urge to burn it ritualistically on the front lawn.

Some fifteen minutes later, she was wrapped in a fluffy towel, leaving a trail of wet footsteps across the floor on the way to her bed, where she sat after hurling the crumpled dress (plus bra) onto a chair.

This day would _suck_.

She got dressed hastily and went downstairs, grabbing the vacuum cleaner without a word, and started at it without having to be told twice. Her obedience should appease Granny's wrath, and later, she'd lock herself in her room and sleep the day away; there was simply too much on her plate at the moment. Once the vacuuming was done, she walked to the kitchen in zombie mode, her brain on standby, and washed the dishes. This felt like her job, except worse – she wasn't getting paid for it. Though, to be fair, no more shouting was a perfectly acceptable form of currency.

After all the dishes were washed, dried and stored in the kitchen cabinets, she got back upstairs and locked herself in her room.

This was a habit she seldom practiced anymore, mostly because Granny would always know that something was wrong and come asking about it, or, more often, threaten to tear the door down. It's been years since it happened last, so Ruby hoped she wouldn't come trying now; after all, some peace and quiet were the only thing necessary at the moment.

She collapsed on the bed and shut her eyes when an infuriating buzz forced them open again. Who the hell was it now?

She reached for her purse, fished for the phone as it continued to vibrate in an incredibly annoying way, and she answered without even bothering to look at the number:

"What?!"

"Uh -, Ruby? Is that you?" A slightly startled female voice reached her ears. It was only Ashley, poor thing; she must have had a little heart attack there.

"Yeah, it's me… Sorry about that, Ash."

"Is there something wrong?" You could count on the sweet blonde to ask about other people's problems when her own were more than enough to make anyone go crazy.

"Had a fight with Granny, don't worry about it..." The last thing Ruby needed right now was a curious friend to start asking questions she had no intention of answering. "Anyways, what did you need me for?"

The girl seemed momentarily distracted and fumbled a bit for the right words, but Ruby waited patiently.

"I was just thinking… I mean, I wanted to go out for a bit, if you want… For an ice cream or something."

"Cravings again?" Ruby grinned into her phone.

"Uhh…" Ashley laughed slightly. It was a nervous sort of laughter, like she wasn't sure whether she was supposed to find this amusing or not, almost as if getting the reaction wrong would be disastrous. She was a bit too careful for Ruby's taste, never took any risks. The girl behaved like a frightened little rabbit sometimes and she acted as a doormat the rest, which made Ruby want to slap her (except it was considered atrocious to strike a pregnant woman) and tell her to grow a pair. Or a backbone, at least. Still, Ruby couldn't be mad at her; the girl was as sweet as a puppy, and Ruby _loved_ puppies.

"Yeah, I guess…" Ashley admitted.

"Ok, see you in town in about… Half an hour?"

"Sure! See you then!"

* * *

"Chocolate ice cream? That's your idea of a crazy craving?" Ruby asked incredulously.

The frail blonde shrugged helplessly and fiddled with the sleeve of her stretched out shirt.

"The strawberry and pistachio I ordered make me feel like I'm the one pregnant here." Ruby joked good-naturedly, but Ashley looked pretty uncomfortable all of a sudden, and it made the brunette feel really bad – she was being an insensitive bitch.

"I'm sorry, Ash… Me and my stupid mouth… Just ignore me."

"It's ok…" Her nervousness begged to differ, but Ruby would pry no further.

"So, what's eating you, babe?" A compliment might make the poor girl feel better; hey, it worked wonders on her when she was bummed out. It's a shame the effects didn't last long.

"Just the usual… I'm sorry, I know we've been over this a hundred times…"

"Nah, it hasn't been that many." Ruby waved her hand dismissively and her friend gave her a small grateful look.

"Still… thank you for hearing me out…"

The next hour was spent with Ashley sighing and sniffing about her insecurities and how afraid she was of everything, from having the baby to her own shadow. Truth be told, Ruby didn't mind much; it was a welcome distraction from her own shitty state of mind, and she did want to make Ashley feel better; they were friends, after all.

"I just wish he was there for me…" Ashley finished, looking resigned and sad at the same time.

"Men! Who needs them…" Ruby puffed indignantly. She really didn't need this now. Being reminded hurt.

"I need a drink." That statement was made in a perfectly calm manner. "Come on, let's go." Ruby got up, extending her hand.

Ashley seemed perplexed: "Uh, Ruby… I can't drink, you know that…" she said shyly, glancing at her swollen belly.

"Who said anything about you? I'll get drunk, and you can have a mocktail. My treat!" She winked, hoping that it wouldn't take more persuading.

"All right…"

Finally! A slight smile shone on her friend's face, and Ruby relaxed.

"But first, pizza!"

Ashley laughed: "Dessert before lunch? You're terrible, Ruby."

"Thanks a lot, _gran_. C'mon." She pulled her arm and Ashley giggled, following her obediently.

Ruby had to admit, she liked making her friends laugh.

They sat down for a pizza (Ruby was the only one eating; Ash stubbornly refused one because she was ridiculously polite) and, after initial coaxing, the blonde gave up and nibbled on a piece as Ruby devoured the rest.

"That hit the spot!" She grinned widely, patting her stomach. "Now we can drink!"

The bar was half-empty, it was Sunday after all, but Ruby was determined to drink herself under the table before the day was done, Granny's reprimands be damned.

"A Zombie for me, and… Ash? What do you want?"

"Uhm… I'll have a Cherry Fizz, thanks."

Ruby turned away from the bartender and went quiet. Cherry… Why did she need reminders at every turn?

Two Zombies, one Blue Hawaii and three tequila shots later, Ruby was feeling euphoric. She felt happy and chatty, also, for some strange reason – blissfully empty. It was like a strange sort of sweet, brain-numbing amnesia sweeping over her, erasing things she needed purged from her mind with startling ease.

"So… anybody new in your life?" Ashley asked timidly.

"Why are you asking me that?" Great, this was the last thing she needed, a friend so bored out of her mind that she felt compelled to pry, honestly, what was up with people today? Did she wake up with a huge pink neon sign above her head "_I had sex with Mr. Gold last night_" or something?

"Well, I just thought… Since we talked about nothing but me and my issues for the past couple of hours… I'm not being fair."

Ruby's expression softened as she looked at the meek blonde. She reached out and took Ash by the hand, giving her a gentle squeeze.

"It's ok, sweetie… You know I'm here for you."

"I know," The pregnant girl blushed slightly: "but it should be the other way around, as well."

"Aww, c'mere." Ruby scooted closer and hugged her friend tightly, petting her soft curls. "I love you, babe. Don't you forget it. I love you more than any man. Men leave, they don't care… But I will always be there for you."

When they separated, Ashley's smile was nearly angelic: Ruby could see how her eyes shone with gratitude, and it stung. Sometimes she wished she could be more like Ash: sweeter, kinder, more innocent. But then reality would slap her awake and she knew – she couldn't be that way, it was better like this. Were she as weak as the girl before her, she would have shattered by now. Being slightly jaded helped her survive.

"You'll find someone, I know you will." Ashley soothed. "You're too amazing not to."

Ruby ignored the dull pain in the pit of her stomach.

"No, babe… We're both screwed. At least we've got each other, so cheers!"

With that, she drank her tequila number four and stilled. Her vision was pulling pranks on her, and when she attempted to get up, she stumbled, nearly falling over. Ash rushed to stabilize her, and Ruby leaned against the table, making the glasses rattle in the process.

"I think you've had enough, we should go home."

Ruby wiggled free and murmured something about going to the bathroom. She couldn't quite recall how she managed to get there, but once she was in the stall, she sat on the lid and buried her face in her palms, as if trying to shake off a bad dream. Going home drunk was not a good idea; Gran would go ballistic. She needed to sober up and, luckily, it wasn't that late yet.

Ruby cursed and sighed, her chest falling onto her knees. Things went too far, the dosage was off, and now, instead of being all giddy, she was careening towards depressed. This was one of those rare times when her independence would run out, leaving her alone and unprotected. Blinking back tears, she wiped her eyelids carefully, trying to calm down.

Ruby emerged from the stall a few minutes later, washed her hands and face, but didn't quite manage to fix her broken smile. After paying for their drinks, she walked out hand in hand with Ash.

"Want me to drive you home?" The timid girl offered.

"You don't have a car." Ruby countered, looking puzzled.

"But you do. And you can't drive like this."

Ruby felt sick all of a sudden.

"Let's walk to the beach. I want some fresh air."

"Sure." Ash seemed happy, and Ruby fell silent.

Ruby lay flat on her back once they got to the beach and closed her eyes. The soft crashing of the waves was soothing, the night was cool, and a soft breeze was brushing past her cheeks. She felt her inner fire lessen, reduced to cinders. Becoming less than what she currently was seemed like a very appealing prospect: turning into a grain of sand, a drop in the ocean – just a tiny fraction of something huge, infinite and immeasurable – where her existence and consciousness would be stripped away. Turned from a complex machine into nothing but a simple cog, serving no other purpose but to sit there and move where the tides would take her, twist and turn as the spring mechanism commanded. She slowly willed herself into nothingness, and it came easy. The pain was slipping away, leaving her pleasantly numb and empty. The passing of time lost all meaning and she drifted in the darkness for what could have been forever, or, on the other hand - a mere second. A falling star shot over the horizon and she knew it was her own heart, burning up in the atmosphere. Little golden flecks shone and flickered, ever watchful, vigilant like a mother's eyes…

"Wake up… Wake up, hon. It's two a.m."

Ruby groaned at the soft voice and tried to push its source away.

"Let me drive you home, Granny will be mad again."

Ruby allowed herself to be helped to her feet and let Ashley guide her back to the place where her car was parked. She felt guilty about dragging her pregnant friend along at this ungodly hour; on top of probably not being healthy for her or the baby, it made her feel like a terrible friend. She'd have to do something about that some time soon.

Everything was a haze, and when the engine stopped, Ruby could see the overgrown hedges that obscured the inn from sight.

"Are you ok? Want me to take you to the door?"

"Nah, I can manage… Thanks, Ash." Ruby flashed her a grateful smile and brushed her hand against her shoulder.

"Ok, then… See you soon?"

"Sure, I'll keep in touch. Night, sweetie…"

"Night!" Ash chorused and shut the door behind her. Ruby couldn't find the strength to move, it was like her limbs had turned to jelly, all limp and useless. Feelings were draining from her one by one; anger, worry, sadness…trickling down some invisible drain into a black hole that gobbled them up until nothing remained. She let herself fall, as well, deep into that welcoming shroud of oblivion…


	2. Chapter 1 : A New Woman in Town

Ruby awoke with a startle. Trying to shake off the sleepiness, she blinked a few times. The light on the outside was a bit too bright for her taste, and it made her wonder why her curtains weren't drawn, when it finally dawned on her – this wasn't her room. Cursing her stupidity and the waste of time, she fumbled for her cell, what time was it?

The little white digits in the upper right corner of the screen read 5:57 a.m.

Well, fuck.

With more force than was strictly necessary, she flung the door open, then shut, and walked up to the inn, rubbing her eyes all the while. She felt like a wreck, but was quite grateful that the habitual head-pounding component of hangover was absent. The door clicked behind her back, and while she had quite hoped that Granny would still be asleep, sadly, there was no such luck.

"Where the hell have you been, girl?" The old woman looked as furious as a huffing dragon, and Ruby felt her heart sink.

"Just out with Ashley…" Luckily for her, she had nothing to hide, and just felt deflated and tired.

"Is this the time to come back home? You have _work_ Monday mornings, or has your new catch managed to make you forget that?"

"Oh, please!" Ruby covered her ears and headed for the staircase, "I was with Ash, if you don't believe me, ask her!"

"As if I don't know that she would cover for you anyhow!" As it would seem, Gran was relentless, which didn't inspire optimism first thing in the morning. To her, this was far too early in the day to be at anyone's throat, even though she wouldn't mind having Gold at hers again…

"_NO! Not now, shoo!" _Ruby tried to purge her thoughts violently.

"I don't care if you believe me or not, I'm telling the truth." She was tired, her usual passion for a good fight subdued and effectively neutralized. All she wanted was to be left alone.

"Whoever it is," Granny began, and Ruby turned around, as if she knew what was coming: "he'd better take responsibility if –"

"Oh, just stop it!" She yelled, frustration building fast: "I. AM. NOT. SLEEPING. WITH. ANYONE. Not at the moment anyways, and I just need you to not shout at me now, ok? All I want is to take a quick shower before I go to work. Is that all right? Can we continue this later?"

She watched the deep frown on her grandmother's face smoothen somewhat, then she shooed her away with a wave of her hand, a clear dismissal if there ever was one. With a shrug and a sigh, Ruby murmured an exasperated "Thank you" before running up the rest of the stairs. Her stomach signaled hunger with a loud growl, and she knew she'd likely have no time to eat at home… Good thing the family business was a food joint.

Ripping the layers of clothing off of her with zero regard for the fabrics, she marched into the bathroom and got into the shower. The water was slightly on the colder side, but it served as a good enough method of waking up. After work would be a good time to make up for the lost sleep, but now she had to focus and survive the morning shift. She hated morning shifts.

She hated Mondays too.

She hated Storybrooke.

Everything here was so small – the people, their minds, their shops, everything. The only thing which vaguely resembled greatness was Granny when she chose not to be a totally overbearing old prude, and Mr. Gold.

"_Shit, why am I thinking about him again? Get out of my head, you old bastard!"_

It wasn't like she wanted to remember, in fact, if there was a way to erase her memory, she would take it without a second thought. Sadly, the real world didn't work that way. Maybe the town's psychiatrist could sort it out under hypnosis or something… But this wasn't a trauma which would require healing or mending the shattered pieces of her mind – it wasn't a bad experience at all – merely an extremely distracting one. No normal person should be able to feel horny after a mostly sleepless night, and certainly not while under a particularly cold stream of water. Ruby concluded that she was definitely a freak of nature before stepping out of the shower.

* * *

Tuesday and Wednesday soon joined her growing list of days she despised, and she still felt drained from the weekend. Work was as dreary as usual and she couldn't wait to get back to her room for a quick nap. While it wasn't usually her thing, sleeping in the afternoon, it was either that or jumping straight out of her skin. Yes, definitely not an appealing alternative.

She undressed and crawled under the covers in nothing but her underwear. The warmth was wholly comforting, lulling her to sleep. There was just something soothing about your own scent lingering on the pillow, and it was a thing that people normally didn't appreciate. It was familiar, and familiar was safe.

Drifting off into a pleasurable void, she let her consciousness slip away…

She breathed slowly, steadily. A hand reached out and wrapped around her waist, making her squirm and bury her face deeper into the pillow.

"_You're back…"_ She murmured without opening her eyes. The lover snuggled against her back nuzzled into her hair and she heard only a vague _"Mhm…" _in reply. He was lean and warm, with hands which were strong and supportive, and his breathing was moist and calm against her neck. A gesture as simple as that was all it took to feel complete - to be completely at home. She fell asleep smiling.

_Snow… It was snowing. Everything was covered with a sparkly white blanket, the pine trees, the forest trails, the cottages, even the well from which she had to haul water from. Granny was there, beckoning her into the house before sunset, and she knew she had to hurry. The reason why eluded her, but it was something important, so she obeyed. _

_She knew what to do, and after putting the bucket down, she hurried to shut the windows. A loud thud pierced the silence as Granny barred the door. _

_Then came a loud knock. _

"_We need to talk, girl."_

She shook her head and opened her eyes only to find her grandmother looming above her like a huge disheveled gargoyle.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty! If you don't get up now, you'll miss dinner, and I sure won't try to wake you up again."

With that, the old woman walked right out, the door left wide open behind her. Ruby groaned; she hated that and wished that there was a special place in hell for people who made a nasty habit out of doing it; but got the picture, and untangled from her covers. She stumbled into the bathroom to wash her face and touch up her fading eyeliner. It was just a thing – keeping her make-up fresh. Maybe that was a coping mechanism, she was sure that Dr. Hopper could find some psycho-babble explanation for what she was doing, not that she wanted to know about it.

She got dressed, and slipped on some matching bracelets; if make-up was a mask, then her jewelry was a shiny suit of armor. The soft buzz of her cell snapped her out of her reverie: it was Mary Margaret asking her to come over for some hot chocolate. They did this sometimes, and Ruby never said no to that, M&M was as sweet as they came, as well as supportive and kind (plus, her hot chocolate was to die for). The woman behaved like a saint, volunteering at the hospital, teaching children, working for charity… Ruby sometimes wondered why the girl didn't just join the convent – she was certainly nun material. But then again, that lifestyle was constricting, and Mary Margaret probably lacked the religious component, the "calling" (even though she was catholic and made sure to always wear that little golden cross around her neck). All for the best, this way they could at least talk openly without somebody trying to shove her into a confessional, or rinse her mouth out with holy water.

After zipping up her knee-high boots, she nearly bumped into Granny on her way out of the room.

"Why are you dressed like a harlot?"

"Excuse me?"

Ruby followed her grandmother's disapproving gaze and realized that the cause of her ire were likely either the mini-skirt or the boots, neither was particularly scandalous in her opinion, but the old bat seemed irritable since morning, so this wasn't much of a surprise. But then again, today was rent day, and that might have been a contributing factor to the mounting tension.

"Where are you off to now?" There was tangible reproach in her voice, which made Ruby eye-roll.

"Out with a friend, nothing special." She hated having to justify her outings when they were innocuous – and a hot chocolate at Mary Margaret's was as innocent as they came.

"Would that be the friend who claws at your thighs like an animal?"

"Cut it out!" Ruby turned around just after grabbing the banister, angry enough to blow off steam: "And you wonder why I don't want to stay home for the night! Who would want to take this?! I'll go out without dinner if you don't -"

"You were out all night and now you're going out again!" Less than a question (more of a statement), it made her blood boil. Yes, she went out yesterday, tried to flirt with some guys she barely knew to take the edge off, but it wasn't working – all of her thoughts kept swerving in Gold's general direction, and she couldn't take it. She felt suffocated in this dusty, crummy old inn, in this boring provincial rat hole, and right now, all she wanted to do was get in her car and drive off, never to return again.

She stomped down the stairs, ready to fetch her jacket, attempting to ignore Granny's persistent jabs.

"I should have moved to Boston!" She spat over her shoulder and brought her hands to her head, undecided whether to growl in frustration and pull some hair out, or to rub her temples – not much longer now, and this shit would turn into a full blown assault of migraine. Maybe she should get Mary Margaret to slip something stronger into that hot chocolate…

"I'm sorry that my heart attack interfered with your plans to sleep your way down the eastern seaboard."

Ruby turned away, feeling disgust and outrage rising in her throat. Great, guilt trips, just what she needed!

While she usually appreciated Granny's sarcasm, right now, it made her want to smash something – quite possibly the ridiculous china they had on display for no reason, since nobody ever came here, but when she slipped behind the wall that separated the dining room from the reception, an unfamiliar female voice floated from around the bend:

"Excuse me? I'd like a room."

Her hand was already on her jacket, but she tugged on her red scarf instead, listening in. A customer? The genuine article? This had to be seen to be believed!

Curiosity successfully piqued, Ruby took a step back and peered at what was the first customer in _years_, and stared at the woman, dumbfounded. She realized that this could be perceived as strange, and that nobody really appreciated being regarded as a zoo animal or a circus freak, but this strange occurrence simply had to be observed.

She draped the scarf over her shoulders and watched Granny fumble about – it's been so long since anybody stayed here, that the old woman had a momentary lapse of brain and motor function alike.

"Really?" Ruby watched her grandmother speak like she could hardly believe her eyes, before some remnant of a hostess/receptionist hybrid flared up and spurred her into action, adding a bounce to her step, the likes of which Ruby had never seen before. With surprising agility, the old woman swooshed into the office to fetch the dusty old ledger, explaining as she went:

"Would you like a forest view or a square view? Normally, there's an upgrade fee for the square, but as… rent is due" Oh, Gran was _good_, masking the fact that they never got any income from this place by using the rent as an excuse… She should take notes: "… I'll waive it."

"Square is fine."

Ruby eyed the blonde newcomer – she was definitely new in town, there's no way she wouldn't remember seeing her in Storybrooke before. The woman seemed a couple of years her senior, and Ruby found herself scrutinizing her fashion sense without realizing – nice jacket, though the boots and the jeans took away from the general appeal, she imagined that it was a "I-don't-really-care-about-how-I-dress" sort of look, and while it wasn't her thing, she supposed that it worked. Even though it could use some… work.

She was pretty focused on the sight before her, so much that she barely registered when the door opened, and a slender figure stalked its way in. Her breath hitched – of course, rent day!

"Now, what's the name?" Granny asked, still blissfully unaware of the landlord's presence.

"Swan, Emma Swan."

"Emma!" Gold exclaimed: "What a lovely name."

The woman gave him a slightly weirded out look, somewhere between "Who the hell are you, where did you come from, and why are you standing behind my back" and "Ok, strange mister, I have no idea why you spoke to me, but I will try to be polite even though you are currently creeping me out". She simply answered:

"Thanks." The unspoken "_I guess_" hung suspended in the air.

Granny froze and proceeded to open a drawer, pulled out a neatly bound roll of rent money, and handed it over to the despised loan shark with equal parts fear and relief washing over her face. Ruby hated seeing Gran afraid, it was just _painful_, and had to admit – any man capable of making her fierce grandma this shaky had to be damn scary.

"It's all here." She explained, holding the money with the tips of her fingers, like an offering of sorts (a peace offering most likely). It sounded like she wanted to assure him that every last dime was here, hoping that he wouldn't count it in front of them (the way he sometimes did), and wishing he would just leave.

But there was something deeply impatient and dismissive in his tone as he took the money:

"Yes, yes, of course it is, dear. Thank you."

It seemed like he wasn't even _interested_ in the rent, not after seeing the blonde. Ruby forgot to breathe for a moment, and simply watched him as he gave the broad a thorough once-over.

"Enjoy your stay… Emma."

She ignored the stupefied look on Emma Swan's face, and focused instead on the way he had pronounced her name.

He was interested in the woman, very interested indeed. It was almost like he knew something about her, which was ridiculous, because the blonde's reaction was one of complete and total confusion; she had obviously never seen him before in her life. So why did it seem like he knew her?

And the way he had looked at her, was he checking her out? Sure, she was attractive enough, bouncy golden curls, pretty face, her hips perhaps too wide (good for birthing, as the geezers might say), but why would he let his eyes stray now, when he never appeared interested in anyone before? Great, now that she had awakened his sleeping libido, he'd just go on his merry way and mess around.

Ruby watched him with scrutiny, taking in every detail of his appearance. He seemed as impeccable and inapproachable as usual, except… What the hell was up with that ugly shirt? She wasn't used to Gold making a fashion _faux pas_.

No, his fashion sense was not what she was supposed to be worried about here.

He turned on his heel and went for the door, noticing the way she was staring at him, unblinkingly, and her heart sank. What did his lingering gaze mean? Was this his way of showing her that they were nothing exclusive, despite their little wine-induced encounter? That she was nothing special and that he still had his freedom?

A long, unreadable look later, he was gone. After the door clicked shut, the confused newcomer asked:

"Who's that?"

"Mr. Gold." Ruby answered without bothering to look at the woman herself, the man who was limping away seemed much more appealing to stare down through the little curtains of the foyer window. "He owns this place."

With that, her gaze returned to Emma. Her voice came out slightly strangled, but she hoped that the only two people in her presence would attribute that to fear of Mr. Gold, even though the emotion her voice betrayed was anything but.

"The inn?"

Thankfully, Granny saved her from having to explain, plucking the words straight out of her head:

"No, the town."

Yes, he owned this place, Ruby mused, but he currently owned much more than that – he owned a part of her which she couldn't recall giving away, or trading in a deal, unless the exchange of bodily fluids was some new way of drawing up a contract, a new method that she wasn't made aware of.

Further exchange of pleasantries escaped her attention as she watched Mr. Gold vanish behind the overgrown hedges, most likely on the way to his parked Caddy, and she wondered what would happen the next time they'd try to speak. Would he be civil and cold like nothing had ever happened? Would he keep his distance, return to the way things were before the Whale incident?

Or maybe, just maybe, they would be normal, playful and teasing as usual. Right now, she'd like nothing more, but it hardly seemed possible… A one-night stand was always awkward for both parties, especially when neither knew whether or not they wanted something else, something more. Sadly, against all reason, she did.

Might as well find out where they stood, these kinds of things were like a trip to the dentist – the sooner you'd get it over with, the better. She ignored her present company and left after snatching her jacket.

The roar of a car engine made her quicken her pace, and she very nearly ran like an Olympic sprinter, trying to catch him. She pushed a stray branch out of her face, searching for the black Cadillac only to find it already driving away.

Running after him was really ridiculous – what kind of impression did that leave? That she was desperate, that's what. Hoping that he wasn't paying any attention to his rear-view mirror, she headed to her own car.

Mary Margaret better be ready for a soul-baring session.

And make that hot chocolate an Irish coffee while she was at it.


	3. Chapter 2 : Cry Me a River

"What's wrong?"

Gosh, Mary Margaret sounded so damn worried that it made Ruby's stomach knot and twist. Well, if there was anyone who could be an excellent shoulder to cry on, it was definitely her. Even though, right now, Ruby had no intention of telling _anyone_ about the real source of her problems. While her flirting with the general male populace was tolerated, her affair with Mr. Gold being made public – it would be a scandal of massive proportions. There would be a riot most likely, Gold's shop would be stoned by the angry lynch mob comprised mostly of the guys that used to/still want to date her, and reinforced by angry old spinsters and prudes who would feel the obligation to support morality. Granny would be leading the blood-thirsty rabble, providing that she managed to survive the initial shock of finding out first. As amusing as the thought was, she could never let it happen. Sure, Gold's antiques shop smashed to bits might be fun to watch, but seeing Granny hurt for real was out of the question. She was the only family Ruby had left, and she had no idea how she would survive without the sarcastic old bat.

"Nothing, just had a fight with Granny. Could you make me an Irish coffee? I'd love you forever!"

"Yeah, sure." Mary Margaret nodded and twirled behind the kitchen counter, preparing her friend's treat.

Ruby slumped in her chair and rested her head in the palm of her left hand, elbow propped on the table.

"Mind telling me what happened?"

If anyone else asked, Ruby would immediately retreat into clamp mode and shut off all access to any sort of private information, but the sweet little brunette meant no harm, and was solely interested in her well-being. People like that were hard to find nowadays, so when the chance arose to snag such a person as your friend, letting go was not an option. While Ashley was sweet, she was a bit scatter-brained, and had a tendency to blab when nervous or spaced-out, which meant that no secret was safe with her – the girl meant no harm, but she just couldn't be trusted with anything private. Ruby loved Ash, she would walk through fire for her, to Hell and back if necessary, but she just couldn't tell her about Gold. Ashley feared and disliked the man, and telling the poor girl that her best friend was actually screwing him in secret was a monumentally bad idea.

Now, M&M could keep her mouth shut, but even so… Ruby couldn't tell her. Some secrets she would rather take to her grave.

"I kind of stayed out late…" Yes, that was the truth, even though she was lying to cover up something much bigger.

"How late?"

"6 a.m."

Mary Margaret stopped dead in her tracks and gave her a wide-eyed look of mild reproach.

"That _is_ a bit late."

"Oh, come on… I was out with Ash, nothing scandalous! And I actually got home at 3 a.m. I didn't get into the house 'cause I fell asleep in my car." _And you don't need to know that this wasn't actually yesterday. _

Her best friend merely shook her head slightly, a familiar gesture of "_she never learns_" showing on her features.

"I'm not a baby anymore; I should be allowed to stay out for as long as I want to!" Ruby huffed mutinously: "I'm responsible, I work, I pay for my own stuff and for my own gas, God knows I pay for my own drinks, so I really don't see what the fuss is about."

"She's just worried about you…"

"Of course she is! But this is _Storybrooke_! When was the last time you heard of any actual crime going on? I'm surprised Graham even has a job; he's probably busy saving kittens from trees and helping grannies across the street… I wouldn't be surprised if Regina actually paid Leroy to stir up trouble just to justify the Sheriff's Office budget… Honestly…"

This made both of them giggle, and Ruby hoped that the most damaging part of the conversation had been successfully derailed.

"So, how is Ashley doing?"

"Oh, the usual. Bloated and sad."

"I hope you don't use those words in front of her." The scolding look was enough to make Ruby feel like a terrible person, which she was at the moment.

"Of course not," She sighed, dropping her hands on the table: "I'm sorry, I'm just a bit bitchy today, I guess… It was rent day, after all."

"_What the… Why did I go there?"_ Ruby cursed her senseless brain for getting the stupid train back on track.

"Oh, I see… Yeah, Mr. Gold has a certain… unsettling quality to him." That was a fairly diplomatic answer, even by Mary Margaret's standards.

"You have _no_ idea." Ruby muttered. Thinking of him as anything but unnerving seemed impossible, if someone had told her a month ago that she would soon be having an illicit affair with the man, she'd have declared the person insane and laughed at their face for being preposterous. But now…

Now she was the one being preposterous. She thought that once she'd slept with him, she'd gain some sort of insight into the way his mind worked, but instead of doing what she'd set out to do, she found herself utterly lost.

"Well, you shouldn't stay late today, just in case. That should help defuse the situation with Granny."

"Yeah…" Ruby agreed half-heartedly, scratching random patterns on the surface of the table with her index finger.

"I really feel sorry for Ashley… She's such a nice girl, I can't imagine being a single mother at her age; it must be terrifying. All alone in the world and now not even Sean is by her side…"

"Yep…" Ashley was the one who had real problems around here, not her with her stupid little affair that was probably just a one-time deal, a huge mistake which should just be stashed away in her evidence locker – case closed. "She's really bummed out about Sean, you know how much she loves him, she had a whole wedding planned out in her head, poor thing…"

Mary Margaret laughed, nodding: "I still remember the huge stack of bridal magazines she was showing us, trying to find the perfect wedding dress."

"And how she complained that they weren't "princessy enough"?" Ruby grinned wolfishly.

"Yes! That was so adorable! Well, she ended up drawing what she wanted in the end."

"I didn't want to tell her that it looked ridiculous." A huge grin bloomed on her face; that dress was enormous and frilly and white, it would make Ash look more like a huge Barbie wedding cake rather than a beautiful blushing bride.

"Ruby!" The short-haired brunette scolded: "It's her wedding, she can wear whatever she wants, you of all people should be fine with that."

"True," she admitted: "I would probably wear a slinky red dress, Jessica Rabbit-style, so… Who am I to judge?"

"I'm glad you understand." The teacher seemed relieved.

"Though I still think I'd look fabulous." Ruby winked at her best friend.

"You're incorrigible." Mary Margaret sighed in playful defeat. "Here you go."

"Thanks, hun!" Ruby cradled the cup, waiting for it to cool. "It smells good."

Mary Margaret sat opposite of her, sipping her hot chocolate. The sweet scent of cinnamon teased Ruby's nostrils, and she wondered if she would come across as rude if she asked for one after finishing what she was currently having.

"So, what's new with you?"

"Oh, the usual…" Mary replied nonchalantly.

"Kids giving you trouble?"

Her question made the teacher giggle and shake her head. "No, they are all well behaved."

"Well, you're a good teacher, of course they are."

The woman sipped her chocolate, trying not to blush, but ended up beaming anyways at the unexpected compliment.

"Well, there was a little incident with Henry, but I'm sure he didn't mean it…"

"The mayor's kid? What happened?" Granted, he was a bit odd, didn't seem to have any friends (which was probably Regina's fault, no child in existence liked to be alone), but she couldn't imagine him stirring up trouble.

"Oh… He sort of…" Here the teacher seemed reluctant to proceed, but did it anyways: "…stole my credit card."

"He did _what?" _

The outrage in her voice must have alarmed the poor woman, for she put her hands in the air, trying to soothe the impact her words had had:

"It's ok! He was just trying to find his mother…" Ruby watched her friend's face soften, turning all sweet and motherly – she would make a great parent one day. "He used it to find the whereabouts of his birth mother, and had a trip to Boston to meet up with her. He actually managed to get her to drive him back home, smart boy."

"Wait, who is his real mother?"

"Emma… Swan, was it?" The look of vague recollection washed over her face, and Ruby frowned at this new information.

"She's staying at the inn, you know."

"Is she?" Mary Margaret looked vaguely surprised.

"Yeah… Booked a room, right before I left."

"Oh, all right."

Ruby took a careful sip from her cup and tried to process this new information. This was big.

"So, you're telling me that she's Henry's real mom?"

"Yes, she gave him up for adoption…" the teacher nodded, "she must have been really young when she had him, and probably didn't have the right conditions to raise a child, likely on her own as well…"

"Just like Ash…"

"Yes, it does sound similar. Though I can't imagine ever giving up my child, no matter how desperate life seemed. Being a single mother is nothing new, after all…"

Ruby could see that, Mary Margaret as a single mom, but even she knew how awful it would be on her; the girl was a hopeless romantic, and any guy who'd be stupid enough to break her heart and then bail would find himself on the receiving end of Ruby's wrath. Then Ashley came to mind and Ruby was conflicted. Sure, giving away your kid was horrible, but if you yourself were unable to raise it, or were aware that you'd make a shitty parent, giving the kid up was the responsible thing to do.

"Can't really take care of a kid if you yourself are one," Ruby concluded: "I do agree that people should raise their own kids, though, keep in mind that not all people are parent material. It's more responsible to give the child to someone who can take care of it properly. Now, I'm not saying Ash is one of those, she's trying really hard, working, studying so that she could get a better job one day, she's taking responsibility. Sean is a real douchebag for just walking out on her like that. I mean, if he can't care for the woman he supposedly loves or his baby, what good is he?"

Being loved was important, and Ruby vowed in case she ever had kids, not to screw them up.

Mary Margaret looked wistful all of a sudden. Ruby knew that she was lonely, searching for the perfect man she hoped existed somewhere out there, the man just for her, but had no luck as of yet. Maybe she was feeling her biological clock ticking?

Gold told her straight to her face that she probably didn't want to be a parent yet, which was true. And even if she did want a kid, she'd never have it with him. He was definitely one of those people that shouldn't have children. She couldn't imagine even the possibility of it, that's how improbable the image was. He just seemed like the strict type, not the kind of thing children appreciated in their parents.

"Are you all right? You seem… upset."

Damned M&M, why did she have to be so observant? Her pretty green eyes exuded nothing but gentle concern, and it made Ruby slightly weary. She felt like caving in and confessing her sins right there on the spot, but knew it was a terrible idea which should never, ever be entertained. The best option was to retreat into her mug and take a long sip. It didn't taste as comforting as she hoped it would.

"I'll be ok… It's just that… Granny tried to guilt trip me into not going out."

"What did she do?"

"She mentioned her heart attack and apologized for ruining my life plans."

"Ouch."

"You can say that again…"

"She's tough though, she'll be fine."

Ruby looked at her with such a pained expression that Mary Margaret felt compelled to squeeze her hand over the table. How could she know her secret fears? She was so confident in her ability to hide what she really felt (at least when it mattered), that this worried her. Being easy to read was never a good thing.

Ruby wanted to share her burden, wanted it so bad, but she just couldn't. It wasn't safe. White lies were easy, covering her tracks was a habit, and she slipped into the routine effortlessly:

"Oh! I met this really cute guy yesterday, his name is Trevor - corny I know, his green vest was a bit silly, but he was funny and …"

At last, her friend seemed appeased, seeing her usual behavior, and it made her cringe inside. Nobody ever bothered finding out, they all assumed that things were fine as long as she had a huge grin plastered on her face. Archie asked her once, why she laughed so much, and it startled her – genuinely did. She answered that she was just happy and he pried no further, but the fact that he came so close made her clamp up in his presence. He was a shrink, and he could probably tell what she was about, and that in itself was dangerous.

How do you make peace with two fully conflicting emotions?

She was waging a war in her head, when she'd much rather be lying on a beach somewhere in Acapulco, sipping Margaritas. But she was stuck here, in this boring place, doing a dead-end job, and living on, day by day, stuck in an endless repetitive cycle. Her life felt like "Groundhog Day".

Talking to friends kept her reasonably sane, and frivolous outings kept her happy enough not to destroy things or murder anyone, but it didn't always suffice. The only time her head was a complete blank was when she was either drunk out of her mind, or engaged in a particularly satisfying carnal activity, and neither happened often enough. She sipped the cream floating on her coffee, listening to Mary Margaret explain all enthusiastic about today's school project – kids were making bird-houses in class, and her mind wandered elsewhere.

So… The mysterious blonde turned out to be little Henry's birth mother. The fact that Mr. Gold knew her made this whole thing very fishy. At least now there was a partial explanation of his sudden interest and against all reason, she felt slightly relieved. Not knowing what this was about clawed at her insides, disturbing her inner balance which was more fragile than ever. Getting involved with him was a bad idea, she knew that now. Instead of making her feel better, it only made things worse.

Sure, in his arms, everything was just peachy, but on the outside… she was falling apart, tearing at the seams. Her heart raced, pounding painfully in her chest like something was squeezing it.

"Ruby? What's wrong?"

Just the sound of Mary Margaret's soft, worried voice, sent her mind reeling. A strangled sob escaped her before she could help it, and she covered her eyes in defense. Like that would do any good…

Her friend was by her side in a flash, stroking her hair, asking if there was anything she could do all distressed, trying to soothe her pain. Damn, it hurt. It's been years since she cried properly, and this wasn't it either, but the dam was cracking faster than she could patch it up, and there were leaks all over the place.

"I miss him…" She whimpered, keeping her eyes closed. "I just miss him so much…"

"It's ok, sweetie… You're going to be fine…"

Her make-up was probably already running and she felt weaker than she's been for years. Past actions were rising from their shallow graves to bite her in the ass, and she clung to the only person available, crying like a little child.

There's no way she would be going home without spending at least fifteen minutes fixing her make-up in Mary Margaret's bathroom…

Once she was done messing it up in the first place.

* * *

_**A/N: **_**Yay! More chapters for you! Sorry about not answering your wonderful reviews, but I have a new job (night shifts) which doesn't leave me with enough time for anything (writing included). Don't worry though! There are already 6 finished chapters, and I'm slowly writing the seventh, so you shouldn't feel my writers block in the slightest. **

**It's a pleasure to know you're reading and enjoying this story. Hugs for all! :D  
**


	4. Chapter 3 : Where We Stand

Home by eleven, that must have been a new record. Granny was nowhere in sight, and it was just so damn typical – whenever she did something right, it passed unnoticed. She went to the bathroom, cleaned up and got ready for bed. She hoped her mind would give her a break and shut down once she was asleep…

Still tired, she drove to work feeling completely exhausted, like she hadn't slept a wink, even though she got at least six solid hours of sleep. It was annoying, to say the least. Checking in the mirror if there were any smears on her impeccable make-up, she suddenly felt something bump the front of her car. There was a distinct screeching of tires as the car came to a full stop and her eyes went wide, knuckles whitening as she held the wheel in a death grip. Did she just hit someone? Impossible, her eyes went off the road for just a second!

Shaky and swallowing hard, she unbuckled her seat belt and stepped outside to see what happened, hoping to God that whatever she hit wasn't human. Well, hitting an animal was equally dreadful, and the mere thought of Pongo, or any other dog, squashed under the tires of her car made her teary-eyed. She hoped that the absence of screams meant that everything was fine.

Her step was uncertain as she cast a glance on the asphalt, breath hitching in her throat.

There was so much blood, and the pool was spreading. She should have moved away, because it was creeping up to her boots, but she couldn't move a muscle. Ruby could do nothing but stare, transfixed, glued to the spot. It was like all reason fled, leaving only an inarticulate pillar of flesh and bone behind. The fabric of his clothes was completely drenched, the longer strands of his hair caked with blood on one side, plastering it to his face in an entirely morbid way.

She wanted to run away, or at least turn her eyes away from the gruesome sight, but couldn't.

He was dead. She killed him.

The pool of red was expanding, reaching his golden-tipped cane, and swallowing it ever so slowly…

Ruby awoke with a startle, beads of sweat rolling off her forehead. It's been awhile since she had a proper nightmare. To be perfectly honest, she didn't miss them.

The thought of killing Mr. Gold was terrifying, and realizing that it was nothing but a stupid dream eased her mind considerably. If she did indeed possess the ability of prophetic dreams, she'd rather go to work on foot today.

She tossed and turned in bed for an hour until sleep claimed her once more.

* * *

Ruby was not a happy camper come morning. Lugging the heavy sign into the street made her more grumpy than she already was, and even though she smiled as Granny passed her by, hands full of crusty baguettes, her expression went sour immediately afterwards. Not even the sight of the hunky sheriff could remedy her foul mood. Not only did she spend the better part of last night agonizing over the current situation between her and Gold - the nightmare, and, subsequently, lack of sleep, were wreaking havoc on her already rattled nerves.

She just wanted to know where they stood. Getting the cold shoulder and a door slammed to her face didn't seem like such a bad idea, as long as it came with some peace of mind at last.

Maybe she should go to his shop after work and just ask him. That would certainly be more productive than torturing herself for days on end.

She served Graham his coffee and was quite content to lose herself in mindless work as Emma Swan entered the diner, carrying a crisp copy of The Mirror, an apple in hand. Ruby watched the woman as she sat at the counter –a clear indication that she wasn't expecting company. Once she had settled, the door opened once more, the blonde's son very nearly tip-toeing in. He placed his index finger over his lips, asking for her silence and Ruby obliged. The kid was obviously up to something, which made her curious.

Henry sat in the booth closest to the window, behind Graham and beckoned her closer with a wave of his hand.

"Could you make her a cup of cocoa with whipped cream and sprinkle cinnamon on top?"

The hushed, secretive tone of his voice made her smile, the boy was cute. He was ordering his mom hot cocoa to butter her up, that much was obvious, but the gesture was so sweet that Ruby felt her heart melt a little.

"Mary Margaret special, eh?" She grinned, and Henry nodded solemnly.

"And don't tell her it was from me! At least not right away." Henry pleaded.

Ruby flashed him a knowing grin: "You want it to be a surprise, huh?"

"Something like that." He acquiesced.

"All right, keep your secret." She mock-pouted and went back behind the counter.

Once the cinnamon was sprinkled on top, she presented the lucky mother with the gift:

"Here you go."

Emma seemed to have given up on taking a bite out of her apple, and looked confused.

"Thank you… But I did not order that."

Ruby suddenly felt very mischievous and chose to play her part well.

"Yeah, I know. You have an admirer."

Since Graham was sitting right behind her, Ruby wondered how spectacular Emma's (over)reaction would be. And, surely enough, the blonde took the mug and marched straight to his table.

"Ah, so you decided to stay." He seemed pleased.

"Observant. Important for a cop." Cue sarcasm, it made Ruby stifle a giggle. Poor sheriff, he had no idea what was going on.

"It's good news for our tourist business… It's bad for our local signage." Ruby wanted to facepalm; his sense of humor was so ridiculously awkward sometimes, but she supposed that it was a part of his charm.

Emma seemed to have noticed that, and gave him a long incredulous look which meant "_seriously?" _and _"that was so lame"_.

The poor guy seemed so lost when she failed to show any amusement, and he fumbled about: "It's…it's a joke."

Emma gave him a pitying look. Still he continued to explain, waving his hands in emphasis.

"Because you ran over our sign?" That sounded a bit desperate and Ruby was torn between laughing and going over to hug the guy.

"Look," Emma interrupted before he could embarrass himself further: "the cocoa was a nice gesture, and I am impressed that you guessed that I liked cinnamon on my chocolate, cause most people don't… but I am not here to flirt, so… Thank you, but no thank you."

Ruby cringed at the sight; it was getting painful to watch.

Graham shook his head slightly and said: "I didn't send it."

Emma had little time to be confused, because Henry rose from his seat to explain: "I did. I like cinnamon too."

Emma recovered rather quickly, Ruby had to admit.

"Don't you have school?"

Henry tossed his head back, giving his second mother a look of disbelief.

"Duh. I'm ten. Walk me!" He demanded.

Emma seemed hesitant for a bit, but caved in.

That kid would definitely be a charmer one day, Ruby thought.

True love at work, if Ruby ever saw any – a mother with her child, doing seemingly unimportant, trivial things together, and having fun with little to no effort at all. It made her jealous. There was nobody like that there for her. There was nobody out there who loved her unconditionally, nobody who would sacrifice themselves for her, not a soul.

She realized how painful that was as the realization solidified, embedding itself in her heart like a jagged splinter, making her feel wounded and raw. Shit, she needed to know where they stood, the sooner the better. The uncertainty was _agonizing_.

After the shift, at his store… Yes, that sounded like a plan. Or not, no matter if hardly anyone went there, the people passing by could see her coming into the shop, and that wasn't a good idea. In this messed up state, if anyone bothered to be persistent enough with pointed questions, she was sure she might snap and say something extremely uncalled for, something compromising.

And then everything would be shot for good.

No. Not after the shift. Not at his shop.

At his house?

Yes, that was private enough, she could always go through the forest, skulk to his back door to minimize the chances of being seen in the darkness... That was a reasonably sound course of action. Of course, he could always choose not to open the door for her, but that didn't matter right now. She could throw a brick through the glass and see how he likes it when it ends up waking the entire neighborhood. Oh yeah, and Graham too. She'd just love to explain to him why she did it.

A woman scorned and all that.

Yes, she could do that.

A plan fully forming in her head brought a sense of ease along with it, calming the tempest in her brain. This would work.

* * *

She didn't bother explaining where she was going and just said: "Out. I'll be back before midnight."

Granny didn't ask, hopefully appeased by her granddaughter's reassurance as well as the choice of wardrobe for the evening – a simple red tank top covered by a loose black button up shirt, jeans and one of her lower-heeled boots. Ruby slipped into her jacket and stepped out of the inn into the twilight. He'd probably be closing his shop right about now, and her trek through the woods should be more than long enough for the man to be home before she got to his backyard.

Her mind was strangely empty as she walked through the forest, her pace even, strides long and sure. There was no way for her to sense the exact amount of time it took to get to his house, but it didn't even matter. Stopping on the border of the tree line, she looked at his house from behind – it was dark, all of it.

All except for a solitary window on the first floor.

After a quick glance to the right, she left the cover of trees behind, rushing to his back door as quickly and as quietly as possible, and only when she was very nearly plastered against it did she stop to breathe. Nobody saw her, of that she was fairly certain.

Her attention went back to the tinted glass door and she went for the knob, secretly hoping for it to be unlocked. That would make things so much easier.

It wasn't, of course.

She tried to push harder a few more times, but the door refused to budge. There was no bell on this side, which was making things difficult. She could shout to him, but that was a really bad idea. A downward look to her left revealed a neat row of rose bushes – overgrown, but still blooming. On the ground, she discerned gravel.

Grabbing a fistful, she backed away from the door and looked up at the light. The window was closed. She couldn't see much of anything from this angle, but it didn't matter. That's what the gravel was for.

She tried tossing a single pebble, but it hardly made any sound at all upon contact.

Then she tried tossing five at a time. The raspy sound of rock against glass echoed in the absolute quiet of the evening, and she listened, waiting for any sign of movement from above.

Ten seconds.

Twenty.

Nothing. Not loud enough yet.

Her patience was wearing thin, so she decided to gamble and flung the rest with as much force as she could muster. The rain of pebbles clattered against the glass and after a moment or two, the light seemed to dim as the window opened, revealing a slightly disheveled man. He was very nearly hissing:

"Who the –" He must have seen her waving at him from below, and fell silent immediately. She couldn't read his expression from that far away, it was just too far and too dark, but she pointed at the back door without a word, hoping he would get it. He lingered there for a moment, and then disappeared, the window closing immediately after.

She waited outside, where the hell was he? How long did it take for him to limp down that ridiculously massive wooden staircase? Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, she felt her heart rate increase by the second. The nervousness was making it hard to breathe properly, to think.

After what must have been an eternity, the darkness behind the doors was no more, dim light spilling from the inside. A dark smear was moving through it, growing as it drew near.

The door opened with a slight creak and she saw him through the crack. For some reason, he didn't bother opening the door for more than a fraction, and she frowned at his closely guarded expression.

"What is it?" He asked impatiently, like he hadn't expected to see her, like he hated the fact that she dared do this, like her closeness was a bad thing. It stung more than she would have expected.

"Aren't you gonna invite me in?" She asked, sounding more serious than she planned to, but this was how she felt, she couldn't just fake being fine, not now. Not at this time.

The lines on his face were rigid and for a moment, Ruby was convinced that he would slam the door in her face and that that would be the end.

Thankfully, he chose not to, and the door opened all the way. He said nothing, but he moved aside to let her in. She lowered her head and took a step over the threshold. The door clicked shut behind her and she risked a look at him.

He was serious, so damn much that she wondered who this man standing before her was, for he certainly wasn't the Mr. Gold she knew. The two images were nothing alike, and were in such stark contrast that her senses felt assaulted.

The silence stretched on for more than a minute, and her throat went completely dry. They were both looking at each other as if they were trying to gauge their respective strength, quiet and intense. After it probably became apparent to him that she couldn't, or was actively choosing not to speak, he broke the strained silence:

"What are you doing here?"

No _pet_, no _dear_, no nothing at the end of his sentence. It wasn't a good sign.

Attempting to marshal her thoughts, she knew that truth would have a really hard time crossing her lips at this point, so she didn't even bother.

"I came to collect my underwear."

God, she'd never say that under normal circumstances, not because of the context, but the choice of words – it was foreign, tasted so damn alien on her tongue, bitter and wrong and fucking unnatural. The phrasing was more along the lines of something _he_ would say, all impersonal and cold and... _business-like._

"I believe it is where you've left it." His voice was measured, even. Impassive. She couldn't take it.

So, he didn't even bother picking it up after she left? He just left it lying somewhere in the basement, discarded.

Discarded and meaningless, just like her.

"You mean, where _you_ left it." He obviously needed reminding that this was a two-way street. "You're the one who… handled them last."

Yes, he took her panties off himself, cast them into the darkness, she didn't care then where they landed, and she certainly didn't care now – the thought was, frankly, something she could do without at the moment, completely irrelevant and unnecessarily distracting.

Without a word, without as much as a _flinch_, he walked to the basement door, opening it for her and stepping aside. She gave him a long hard look – he was still dressed, must have not been home for long, the only exception being the fact that his suit jacket and tie were missing. The two top buttons of his black shirt were undone.

Focus. She needed to do this, needed to stick to the plan.

It was, admittedly, an extremely faulty one, but she had no strength left to think of anything else. She searched for the light switch on the right and pressed it.

Nothing happened. The cellar remained dark.

Ruby looked at him. Their gazes locked for a moment, but Gold said nothing, his lips drawn into a thin line.

"You didn't change the light bulb."

She watched intently as he twitched nearly imperceptibly, almost like he was struggling to come up with an appropriate response, only to come up short.

"You haven't even been down there since, have you?" This wasn't a real question, as Ruby had a distinct feeling that she was talking to herself.

He averted his gaze and looked away from the door, his eyes fixed to the floor. She took this as admission of guilt.

He was _avoiding_ the cellar. Avoiding the scene of the crime. A person who genuinely didn't give a damn about the situation should be unfazed by something like this – changing a light bulb shouldn't pose a problem, picking up underwear from the floor neither. None of which he bothered with, which meant only one thing – he wasn't able to.

It would seem that Mr. Gold had chosen to run away from what had transpired between them, unable to face what they had done.

And that shouldn't be so. People ran from things that scared them, ran away from things that _hurt_, things that _confused_. Basically, from anything which disturbed their frail sense of inner peace. Never, not in a million years would the thought occur to her. He just seemed like the kind of man that feared nothing, standing arrogantly in spite of everything and everyone around him, intense and stubborn and relentless. But his reaction clashed violently with that image, cracking its surface.

"Why are you _really_ here?" He asked, his voice razor sharp. She could hardly take the sheer intensity of his glare, his sudden hostility making her flinch and recoil. So, he could still maintain control, enough to deflect her attempts to find something out, and attack her instead.

Torn between deceit, which would come easier, and truth, which had more potential to draw some of his own honesty to the surface despite hurting like a bitch, she bit her lower lip.

"You're right. I didn't come here for that."

Silence.

"Then what, pray tell," he looked at her like he wanted to smother her, or strike her: "are you here for?"

He looked more intimidating than ever and now she could see why everybody was so terrified of him – there was just something ferocious and uncontrollable in his gaze, an unyielding quality which was capable of making even the bravest of people shrink away under its tremendous power. The look revealed a man capable of _anything_ if pushed far enough. It made her shiver.

"I… I just need to know." She murmured plaintively, trying hard not to shy away from his burning glare, persisting, almost _desperate_.

"_Believe me, just believe me…" _ She had no idea why the need was so overwhelming, but its force didn't leave any doubts as to its existence. The feeling was here to stay.

"Know what?" He sounded irritated and more than a bit tired.

She felt at a loss. The right words were stubbornly refusing to form in her head, and her body was coming up with the most tempting, but ultimately unhelpful ideas.

_Kiss him_, it murmured, _show him what you mean_.

Ruby was trying hard to restrain herself, fists clenched by her sides, her breathing suddenly heavy, coming out in ragged, uneven bursts. The truth was so damn hard to translate into words, damn near impossible.

"That woman…" she managed to squeeze out, "Emma Swan. You know her from before, don't you?"

He seemed genuinely taken aback for a moment, honestly surprised by her choice of words.

"I have no idea what you mean."

The attempt to mask what he was truly feeling came off rushed and slightly pathetic, because Ruby could see how fake it was.

"Yes, you do. Don't even bother lying, I'm not stupid."

"I have never met her before yesterday, I assure you."

His assurance? That just made it more suspicious.

"Don't give me that crap," Ruby breathed out in annoyance: "Sure, she looked like she'd never seen you before in her life, I'll give you that, but even if you hadn't _met_ her before, you obviously knew _of_ her. You have something on her." She finished resolutely.

Gold blinked and a slight frown drew his eyebrows closer together, which meant that she managed to hit a nerve somewhere.

"What could I possibly have on her, when I've never seen her before in my life?"

Oh, he was irritated now. She finally saw through it, to the very bottom, to the emotion that actually lay beneath all the barbed wire and landmines.

He was not happy with what she was saying, probably because she hit too close to home. He was _scared_. Of what, she had no idea, but he was definitely unsettled by this.

"She's Henry's real mom." Ruby stated, prodding for a response of any kind.

Gold's lips tightened.

"Oh, but you already knew that, didn't you?" She stabbed him mercilessly. It made perfect sense now, of course he would know that, as manipulative as he was, with his talons in everybody's business.

His silence wasn't helping him make a case for himself.

This wasn't the first time that children were brought up in the same context with him. Ash was insecure and frail enough to sign a frickin' contract with him, handing over her kid because nobody wanted to give her a chance to be a mom, and even she herself had doubts by the dozen. Wait…

Could it be?

Ruby's face went lax as the idea formed in her mind, a moment of perfect clarity flashing across her features.

"_You_ got her kid for Regina, didn't you?" A hint of disgust crept into her tone. "You were checking her out, for God's sake, how screwed up is that?"

"Is that why you came here?" Gold asked, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "Because you were _jealous?_"

Taken aback by his observation, and despite knowing for a fact that he just deliberately tried to derail the conversation, she still didn't manage to keep the pain out of her expression.

For some reason, his eyes went wide for a moment, his jaw slack, and he leaned back a fraction, his expression softening somewhat.

"No… That's not why I'm here." She murmured quietly, looking at the floor. Her eyes shut tightly and she took a deep breath, steeling herself for what was coming. Unsure if he would press his advantage or not, which would be a bastardly thing to do, she felt immensely relieved when he said nothing.

"I… wanted to ask you something." Gosh, she sounded defeated. That was so not her.

He remained quiet.

"Are you… seeing someone?" With that, she cast a furtive glance in his direction, noticing that he looked surprised and confused, all in one go.

"You mean besides…" he swallowed, obviously searching for the right term: "this?"

Wow, he didn't even dare use anything more specific than that?

Ruby gave him a weak nod in response, anticipating his answer breathlessly.

Gold stood there for a moment, an unidentifiable, yet raw emotion fleeting across his face and finally said, shaking his head gently:

"No. There's no one."

Ruby let out a breath she wasn't even aware she was holding and her posture relaxed visibly.

"Why are you asking me this?" The incredulity in his tone was unmistakable. He looked like he truly had no idea why she would want to know this particular information, like it never even crossed his mind.

The words slipped out of her mouth before she could actually think about what she was saying, the immediate need to get this burden off her chest overwhelming:

"When…" God, this was so damn awkward, "When I'm _with_ someone…"

Great, just great. On top of sounding like a stuttering idiot, now she felt like a girl from a cheap romance novel, barely able to string two sentences together when faced with her crush. The worst part was, this was about as far from a romance novel as it was possible, for she was no silly doe-eyed Mary Sue, swooning over her Prince (or vampire) Charming. But then again, she didn't want a sparkly macho man – action figures tended to have little else going for them, their rubber heads full of nothing but hot air.

She couldn't even look at him as she continued: "When I'm… _sleeping_ with someone… I don't generally…" Jesus, so many things to say, and it all sounded so damn _wrong_. "go around."

Ok, this didn't make any sense, and Ruby felt stupid. Explaining what she meant was damned embarrassing, but she would rather get the point across properly than suffer through any of his questions which would likely make her want to die right there on the spot.

"What I'm _trying_ to say here," she said, slightly dismayed, "is that I don't normally do this sort of thing. I don't sleep with a guy after the first date, and if I do… _sleep_ with a guy, and if I like it, obviously, then I don't go looking around for someone else." She swallowed nervously and looked at him tentatively, worried about what he would say or do, hoping that she made herself clear.

He looked more confused than she had ever seen, and realized that he was likely having a hard time understanding her garbled thoughts.

"_Fuck."_ It seemed like he'd need further explanation, despite the fact that she did her best to be as clear as possible.

"It might be weird for you, but I'm not exactly like what the rumors say I am… I'm not…" The word festered in her throat for a while before she gathered enough strength to pronounce it: "A slut."

She could have sworn that he seemed pained for but a moment before he spoke: "I never said that."

"You probably thought it." She remarked bitterly, "God knows that everybody does."

"No." He denied firmly. "You're not… that. You're not."

His awkward reassurance struck her as sweet and she flashed him a weak smile.

"Well, with the amount of money you spent on that dinner, it probably came across that way anyhow." Fuck, this hurt so bad.

"What?" He half hissed, half spat. "Is that what you _think_? That I would –"

"Are you telling me you didn't?" She interrupted. "Most men would think that way, you know. I have yet to meet a guy whose hands don't go grabby for the woman after they pay for something."

That came out more vicious than she thought it would, and it made her fully expect a verbal assault in return, but he looked slightly horrified instead.

"Swine." He growled. "Not men."

Perplexed by his earnest answer, she could do little but stare at him. Even though he hardly said anything, she believed him. There was just too much hurt on his face for her not to. He didn't even seem insulted, almost like he had no pride at all, he seemed _pained_. There was also anger, but she could tell that it wasn't directed at her, but rather at the aforementioned swine.

"Besides, I wasn't the one to make the first move, dearie." He said darkly.

He was doing this to protect himself, not to attack her. She didn't know how, but she just _knew_.

"I remember." She grinned, looking more like her usual self. "You seemed very opposed to the idea. I almost gave up." The confession came more easily than it should have.

He froze, giving her a piercing look that managed to come across as soft. He sounded tired and almost… _weak_ as he murmured:

"Why did you come here?"

Ruby felt no more need to pretend, she was exhausted.

"I don't do one-night stands, Gold. It's not me." He kept quiet, obviously waiting for her to elaborate.

"And I wanted to know if you had something on the side, 'cause I don't… And in case you don't either… I wanted to… _Shit_ this is awkward –" She rubbed her temples and went on: "When I'm with someone, I expect us to be, well… exclusive. At least to a certain degree. Now, I don't expect you to chain yourself to me or anything stupid like that, but I would like you not to screw around for as long as you're with me. If that's ok with you."

Gold seemed honestly taken aback, but managed to collect himself fairly quickly.

"I was under the impression that you weren't up for a repeat performance."

That earned him a frown as she asked; her voice laced with disbelief:

"What gave you that idea?"

He just stood there unmoving for a moment, looking at her like it was supposed to be self-evident or something.

"You did sneak out like a thief in the night, my dear."

Fuck. Is that why he was so cold? Because he thought she bailed on him after sex? Did he actually…?

"What? You think I was _ashamed?_" That was preposterous.

"Ashamed, disgusted, disappointed… Take a pick." The nonchalance he was trying to produce seemed off, despite his best efforts.

"No!" Ruby raised her voice, looking clearly upset. "After all that, you think I could be _disappointed_?"

He said nothing, which frustrated her, doing all the talking was not what she wanted to do right now, it made her feel like she was talking to a wall. She _needed_ his input, needed his thoughts on the matter.

What did he want here? Proof? Did he really need to be told how good it was what they shared, how amazing it made her feel? A man of his experience? It seemed ridiculous. And yet, he was clearly uncertain.

The man before her was a walking conundrum, full of unexpected contradictions, shattering her assumptions the moment she seemed certain of them, almost like he was doing it on purpose. Which was impossible, even for him, nobody was quite _that_ good at deception. Plus, she wasn't getting any dishonest vibes from him, if anything; he seemed more forthcoming than usual. So, what were the options? What was the real question she was supposed to be asking here? Was this really about him requiring validation, or was he simply misdirecting her again? That was certainly within the realm of possibility.

But then again, there could be other reasons for his uncertainty. Maybe he simply doubted her words, thought that she was lying to get something out of him. That wasn't such a far-fetched (f-f) thought, because, let's face it, what did he really know about her except what he had seen so far? She had plenty of secrets of her own that she'd rather die than show to others, and expecting him to give up all of his own wasn't just unfair, but also mind-bogglingly unrealistic.

The last option was that he really wasn't as experienced as he seemed, but that just didn't fit the image. The pawnbroker always seemed so ridiculously composed, radiating confidence which bordered on effortless arrogance that she couldn't possibly imagine him being _insecure_, or anything as ridiculous as that. Someone as perceptive as Gold couldn't possibly mistake her signals for something other than what they were.

And yet, here they were. Swallowing her pride and embarrassment, she confessed:

"I came _three_ times. If you really need a comparison, I'll draw it out for you – I'm usually lucky if I get to orgasm _once_. Still doubtful about that repeat performance?"

His face betrayed a strange mixture of discomfort and what looked like pride, well, if he was flattered, that couldn't be a bad thing. Men usually appreciated a nice ego boost, and she imagined that this definitely qualified as one.

Now that things were out in the open, she felt lighter than she'd been in days, weeks actually. As far as honesty went, she felt the urge to tell him about wanting to stay. About being freaked out by it. She wanted him to know how hard it was to leave that night, but she just couldn't. That was one weakness too many. He already knew too much.

"So, you're saying…"

"Do you _really_ need me to spell it out for you? I thought you were smarter than that, jeez…" There was no real bite to that comment, merely an eye-roll for good measure.

"So, you are saying that you wouldn't be opposed to a more… permanent arrangement."

She laughed at that, raising her eyebrows: "See? Was that so hard?"

He rewarded her with a smirk and she realized how incredibly stuffy she felt in her jacket. She unzipped it, and was about to take it off, when he asked, voice smack-dab in between amusement and alarm:

"What are you doing?"

"_What does it look like, genius?"_

Her eyes shone with mischief, her grin wide and playful. Now that the worst part was over, she finally felt more at ease. This was what she was good at.

"Drawing up a new contract."

She let her jacket fall to the floor and shut the door to the basement, a plan forming in her head already. He stood close enough for her to be able to grab his shirt and she pulled him closer with a swift yank. He staggered for a step, ending up nearly fully pressed against her chest as her back hit the wall.

Their lips were inches apart and she teased: "So… Where do I sign?" He didn't move, but Ruby could feel the rush of his heartbeats under her palm. His left hand snaked around her waist, coming to rest on the small of her back, his fingers sliding under her shirts until they were fluttering across her skin. The sensation made her jerk and press her chest against him, and a slight gasp escaped her lips.

This shouldn't feel so good. Not when she was sober, not after baring her soul to him in an entirely embarrassing way. The way he was able to make her moan with a mere brush of his hand just wasn't _fair_, and oh God, his scent was so strong, what kind of crazy pheromone was that, stirring her desire like it was no big deal, and then she was drowning when his lips found hers, all burning and moist and demanding, making her melt into him like warm honey. Her head swam at the taste of his tongue and she wondered what the flavor of her moans and shivers was, because they just seemed to spur him on.

For one glorious moment, she had no doubts whatsoever. This was exactly what she wanted, the _only_ thing she needed right now. She started unbuttoning her shirt with one hand, the other one tangling in his hair – there was no way she was letting him go. She failed to discern which one of them was setting the frantic, slightly desperate pace, but the prevailing emotion was just _don't stop, don't ever stop_, as he drew her bottom lip between his teeth, and that was _it_. Turning him around with the strength which was probably borrowed from the oncoming adrenaline rush, she felt his back smack against the wooden surface behind him, and she pulled his shirt out of his trousers. She slid her hand upwards, caressing his stomach with her fingertips.

He let out a soft, inarticulate growl, his muscles twitching beneath her dexterous fingers.

She wanted to feel more of his hands, but it seemed that standing upright wasn't doing him any favors, since his right hand was still clutching the cane. A brief inspection of her surroundings left a couple of options – the uncomfortable-looking couch (which was too far for her taste anyways), the floor, which was likely an agonizing solution for both of them (not exactly comfortable, and getting up would likely be an excruciating experience for him), and a round, slightly cluttered table. That might work.

She walked backwards, pulling at his shirt, using her most inviting smile to lure him in. It proved effective, because she could see his eyes wandering. Even though she usually didn't appreciate men undressing her with their eyes (hands were much more efficient, especially his), the scalding feel of his gaze left her lips tingling. It was unbearably warm in the room, and she threw her shirt away. The tank top wasn't a priority, so she let it be, going for the button of her jeans, all of it without stopping the pull. He followed her lead well enough, his left hand grasping her hip, moving to her waist as she tried to shimmy out of the annoying garment. Damn it, why were they skin-tight? So frickin' _impractical._

The bump to her thighs alerted her to the fact that they had arrived to the table, and she moved the stuff aside with a quick swipe of her hand, knocking some papers and candlesticks off of it in the process.

"Careful there, pet." He chided gently, but she didn't give a damn – he used it, the word they agreed upon, a nickname that belonged only to her, and damn did it feel good, making her responsive in the most obscene ways.

"I don't care if I break anything, I ain't paying for it."

"We could always discuss…" The way he paused for effect, licking his upper lip, made her go crazy with need, "different forms of payment."

"Only if it involves this." She said breathlessly, pulling him on top of her. The cane clattered on the floor, and he leaned heavily on his hands, hovering above her, looking like he had a million ideas about what to do with her, _to her_, but had trouble deciding where to begin.

She squirmed underneath him, pushing her red hipster panties lower, and shuddered as he whispered hotly into her hair: "Deal."

The word had no business being so arousing, and by all accounts, it should probably have been a turn-off, but that wasn't the case. He pulled away from her, and she wanted to yank him right back, but refrained when she saw the way he was staring at her - like she was the best thing he'd ever seen in his entire _life_. There was just enough of a daze to his look, and he seemed momentarily mesmerized by the sight of her, which forced her heart to beat even faster, until it was pounding against her chest like it wanted to break free of her ribcage. With one hand, he pushed her knees to her chest, exposing her most intimate part for his viewing pleasure, which made her let out a soft groan of surprise and nearly indecent approval.

This position was a first, and she didn't know what to expect, more torture or perhaps he'd spare her and just sate the need she felt without trying to draw it out until her mind was on the brink of destruction. The back of her head hit the table as the feeling of his fingers sliding in crashed against her. She remembered this from Saturday; it was the image which was the most persistent, replaying in her head at least five times a day ever since, breaking her calm and composure each and every time. The tension was unbearable, building up way too fast for her to process, and before she knew it, she was gasping for breath, every muscle in her body fighting entirely contradicting states – rigid to the point of brittleness, and, at the same time, limp like a ribbon of softest silk.

She felt dizzy, half-blind from shutting her eyes too tight. He wasn't touching her, and that had to be rectified.

"Come back…" What should have been a demand, came out as more of a plea, and suddenly, she felt him shifting above her, his voice no more than a soft murmur: "I'm right here, pet…"

His reassurance made her want to cry. Why did it mean so much? It shouldn't, not in her post-climax high, she should be deliriously satisfied and blank, but she was just delirious instead, clinging to his shoulders like she needed to make sure that he was still there, that she didn't end up killing him in that stupid car accident, that he was here to _stay_, grounding her, real and tangible and warm and _hers_.

"Take me…" She called out to him, trying to pull him closer, feeling his hair under her fingers. His outline was a blur, and she couldn't see a thing, the world was just a big swirl of despair, and she was clinging to the only thing which shone in the darkness, a guiding star, or perhaps it was the tiny flickering light thingy that deep-sea fish had dangling from their heads – a lure for unsuspecting prey, but she cared little at this point, because he was there, his skin burning hot and slightly sweaty under her hands, and in this all-consuming darkness, it was enough. It was everything.

Without a single word, he buried himself deep inside of her, coaxing the most dissolute of sounds from her throat. Her spine was starting to hurt, and so were her legs, still crushed against her chest, but the opposing sensations of alternating pain and pleasure spun her mind around like that magnetically propelled thing made by Tesla or whoever, or whatever it was, God knows she was always rubbish at physics, but it felt so good that it made her forget about the rest of the world, numbing even her mind until it shut down, leaving her body to cope with all the sensations on its own.

She was getting dangerously close as he picked up the pace, and felt a droplet of water fall on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open, trying to focus on his face which revealed nothing except intense concentration, and she realized that he was perspiring, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. He was squinting, and she brushed her palm against his furrowed brow to stop the sweat from getting into his eyes. Their gazes locked, and she was immediately drawn into the depths of his tea-colored eyes.

Why tea?

She wasn't sure, but one thing was for certain - his irises weren't dull, weren't static, their surface rippled and swirled, reflecting the surface light, bouncing off the gleaming surface on their bottom and she couldn't look away. There was something about his eyes, shimmering on the other side, hidden behind the fluttering curtains, and she could swear that they were parting for her, allowing her a generously long glimpse into his soul.

There was warmth in there. It wasn't a blazing sort of searing heat, more of a subtle undertone. Yes, his eyes were gentle somehow, like the comforting arms of a lover.

That's what he was now, not a one-night stand, nor a booty call, but a point slightly more fixed in time and space, resisting the ebb and flow of the world which wanted to rip her away from the shore and drag her into the murky, icy-cold waters.

She dug her nails into his shoulders, moaning something unintelligible continuously, almost like a mantra. He kissed the corner of her mouth, and she had no idea whether it was on purpose, or just because he miscalculated the distance, but that simple contact made her tense up, and when his left hand brushed the side of her face, the pent up energy flared up, burst into a shower of brightly colored sparks, and she was left suspended in midair, in the middle of nothingness, her existence exuding waves of something indescribable.

His muscles went rigid under her touch, and she could feel him reaching his own climax as he shuddered in her arms.

Then, for but a moment, he rested against her shins, and despite everything, she felt whole again.


	5. Chapter 4 : And a Red Poppy Cup

The first order of business was to stretch her already cramping legs and pull her pants back up. She only dared one brief, breathless look at him, and thankfully, there was no eye contact, because he was trying to smooth out his rumpled shirt. Strangely, it was a look he wore well.

Rumpled. Who would have guessed? Tousled hair and untucked shirt gave him an air of someone younger, somehow carefree.

"Are you going to disappear if I leave the room for five minutes?" He inquired roguishly and she laughed.

"Not this time." She smiled, going for wolfish, but her lips must have gotten a set of mixed signals from her brain, because her grin faltered, hanging loosely on one side, coming across as bashful. The fact that she was tucking her hair behind her ear while she was at it wasn't really helping her case.

"I'll turn my back and count to ten." He joked and she felt her tension dissolve until she was completely at ease.

"I'll be here." She reassured him and headed for the pink sofa. "I'll be sitting right there." She motioned at it, her arm positioned at a weird, sort of twitchy angle. That was a slight quirk of hers, unconscious for the most part, but Ashley had called her out on it several times, actually using the term 'twitchy', and once Ruby was made aware of it, she started paying more attention to her gestures. It usually happened when she was either really excited about something, or nervous.

She honestly couldn't tell which one of those it was now.

He gave her an indulgent look (even though he didn't seem fully convinced yet), and left the room after picking up his cane. She felt slightly guilty about forgetting to pick it up for him, for it was her initial intention, but maybe it was better this way – he didn't seem like the kind of man that liked to openly display his weaknesses. Ok, to be fair, no man liked that. No human being, for that matter (well, guys slightly less than girls, but whatever) wanted to show the world their insecurities. Everybody wore masks; it was just the amount it covered that varied.

His was particularly elaborate and layered.

She slumped into the slightly uncomfortable settee (the sofa in his basement was considerably cushier) and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. His house smelled like old books and dust. And wood, it smelled like dry wood. Duh, it _was _carved from the stuff.

It wasn't an unpleasant sort of smell, and she had to admit that it suited him. Old things went well with Gold, no, not old things because _he_ was old; that was stupid, but because she knew that every object in his possession had a story, and he was probably the only one who knew them. That seemed a bit lonely, but on second thought, it was also kind of exclusive. He hoarded knowledge just as he hoarded money or trinkets. More than a hobby, it was probably simply who he was.

She guessed he went to the bathroom, because she could hear a faint distant sound of running water, coming from somewhere on this floor – climbing the staircase while on a five minute countdown was likely mission impossible to him.

She frowned at that thought and gave herself a mental smack for being an insensitive bitch.

She lost track of time, just sitting there, and startled when he reappeared without making any noise, seemingly popping out of nowhere.

"Still here, pet?"

"Oh my god!" She breathed, eyes wide, one hand pressed to her chest. "Do you always sneak up on people like that?"

"I wasn't aware that I needed to carry a little bell with me to announce my presence."

She cast him a look of equal parts annoyance and disbelief and said: "Ha ha. Giving people heart attacks is really funny."

He giggled for but a moment and Ruby felt slightly smitten by the way his cheeks creased to accommodate his smile.

"We could always have Dr. Whale give you a check-up."

She knew he was kidding, and even though the idea of the sleazy doctor anywhere near her was completely repulsive, Mr. Gold's good humor was rather infectious, and in the end, she couldn't help but go along with it.

"I don't want him anywhere near my chest; it's enough that he's staring a hole through my shirt most of the time, thank you very much."

"I could fix that for you…" Gold offered, leaving nothing but confusion in his wake.

"Fix what?" She asked, thoroughly puzzled. "His staring? I don't think he'd be able to stop even under penalty of death. I swear, I think he has x-ray vision or something when it comes to these things. Even though he stares at everything female that breathes." She shuddered at the thought, visibly disgusted.

"Perhaps you could consider buttoning up your shirts, hmm?"

Oh, so _that_ was what he was insinuating. There was still something fishy about it.

"I think he stares at _nuns_, Mr. Gold. And they are about as buttoned up as one can get without wearing that black tent thingy."

Gold actually _snorted_ at that, and Ruby felt like she'd just made an ass out of herself.

"I believe 'burqa' is the term you're searching for."

"Yeah, that. Whatever."

"_Really, Rubes? Whatever? Can you possibly get more mature? This is really working for you."_ She desperately craved a desk to smash her face against.

"In any case, I don't want to see, hear, or feel that guy _anywhere_ near me. Not after what he did."

"While he undoubtedly had it coming, about the only thing I cannot fault him for in your case - is impeccable taste."

Ruby's mouth went slack at that comment, her left eyebrow arching into the heavens as she let out a tiny, nearly strangled sound of surprise. Was that a compliment? It certainly sounded as one.

And it wasn't even wrapped up in hundreds of layers of hidden meanings either. No, wait, or was it?

"Have I lost you, my dear?"

"N-no. I'm here."

"_Oh, HELL no." _Ruby groaned inwardly and wanted to bury her face in her palms out of shame. The stuttering romance novel heroine was back with a vengeance, leaving behind a trail of melted brains, namely – her own. She felt a distinct betraying blush as her cheeks flushed like they were on fire, and she let out a tiny whimper, covering her eyes with her right hand.

"Just forget what you've seen and heard for the last two minutes. I'm not usually this slow."

She could hear him laughing through his nose and looked up out of curiosity – he was leaning against his cane and his shoulders shook ever so subtly in quiet amusement.

"I'm glad you find me hilarious." She ventured in a mock serious voice, hoping he would pick up on the sarcasm rather than the other bit.

"I find you charming, pet."

She turned away from him and bit her lower lip. Damn it! The man seemed hell-bent on making her flustered, and she just couldn't get a break, not while he was fully in his element, which he obviously was. It's not like she was keeping score, but if there was one, she was pretty sure it would be Ruby: 0, Gold: over 9000. Ok, not entirely true, there was that one time when he sputtered coffee in the diner; that alone was probably worth more than one, but still… She had to be _smart_ about this, not get sidetracked by every word that came out of his damned mouth.

"Care for a spot of tea?"

She looked at him like he'd suddenly sprouted horns and asked: "This late?"

"It's still good even when it's cold." He shrugged slightly and Ruby laughed at his whimsical gesture. There was something childish about him at times, which she found adorable.

Yes, that word and Mr. Gold in the same sentence shouldn't work, and probably held the potential to open a portal into another dimension, but worked it did (because it was true).

"Uhm… Ok, why not. Never tried that before."

"You've never tried tea?" he asked incredulously, his eyebrows rising speculatively at her poor choice of words.

Now he was really pulling her leg, the bastard.

"I meant that I never had tea after… Spending the night." "_Wow, Rubes. Euphemism much?"_

She watched him as he licked his upper lip slowly, probably already trying to find something (in)appropriately embarrassing to poke her with, but he said nothing and retreated from the room. Was that a conscious effort on his part to spare her further humiliation, or was he simply uninspired? She resigned herself that she'd probably never know, and waited.

His next reappearance was considerably less stealthy, or perhaps she was just paying attention (unlike before), and she glanced his way. He was balancing a small silver tray and she rose to her feet.

"Let me help you with that." She took it away and placed it on the table in spite of his look of obvious protest.

"Oh, don't give me that look."

He sighed and watched her as she sat back down. Hey, he could have the honors of serving the damn thing; it's not like she helped him for any particular reason. Her waitress instincts were to blame, after all.

"You are my guest, pet, not the other way around."

She shrugged. "Sorry, professional deformation."

Those must have been the magic words, because his posture relaxed considerably.

"Milk, sugar?"

Her disgust must have shown on her face, because he grinned.

"Milk and tea shouldn't mix, but, let me guess, another British thing?"

His laughter was no more than a soft rumble at the back of his throat, but it was genuine. She couldn't believe it, but the wrinkles around his eyes really showed off the best of him. They seemed to give him a softer side to balance out the usual sharp edges, and proved to her that he was definitely not as heartless or cold as everybody liked to believe. Well, if they wanted to stay prejudiced, that was their choice.

And their loss.

"A woman after my own heart," he leaned his head in her direction and spoke as if he was letting her in on some big secret: "I never cared much for milk in my tea either."

He poured a cup and placed it before her. The set was really pretty, white with red poppies drawn on the delicate porcelain. He poured himself some and sat down next to her. She noticed that the distance he put between them was not as vast as the one in the basement when they were sipping wine, but there was still some space left which suggested that he was reluctant about intimacy for some reason.

It was kind of strange, shying away from the person you've just slept with, but Ruby wasn't naïve – sex didn't immediately mean that there was real intimacy or trust. Sure, a certain degree was present for certain, but not the real thing. There were people like her who were capable of sleeping with someone without sharing more of themselves than was strictly necessary. She assumed that he was the same.

"This tea… is pretty good." She said, taking another sip. "What is it?"

"Wild cherry."

"That doesn't sound like a typical British kind of tea. I thought you guys had a fetish for Earl Grey or something."

He gave her a long look, his eyes lit with what she could have sworn was joy for a moment there, and he shook his head.

"It's not typical, no. But I am Scottish, and we've been known… for our propensity to do things our own way."

She marveled at his sincerity. This was outside of her calculations. She wasn't supposed to _like_ what she saw, no matter how much she may have wanted to see him for who he really was, but he was just so damn good at surprising her.

"Yeah, I can tell how stubborn you are." She said and leaned back with the cup resting on her lap, cradled in her palms.

"That's a wee bit presumptuous of you." He countered, but the look on his face indicated that he wasn't offended or angry, and the little slip in his mannerisms showed that he was likely having fun.

"Patience should not be mistaken for stubbornness, my pet."

She rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the ribs lightly. "Who said you weren't both? Besides, I have a soft spot for stubborn guys."

He shook the wonder out of his expression and took a sip from his cup. She could recognize a retreat when she saw one, and that tiny personal triumph made her smile.

"Unless they are trying too hard, that is." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, to get into your pants, of course."

Ruby felt her cheeks burning again and regretted asking in the first place. Yes, Whale's efforts did not endear him to her, for all his persistence. But that guy wasn't that stubborn. He lacked something fundamental - he didn't really have guts. Ok, why was she pursuing this train of thought? Gold and Whale were light years apart in every way imaginable.

Besides, Gold didn't even want to get into her pants, not initially anyways. If he did, he would have made a move; it's not like he was a coward.

She frowned. "I get to choose who gets into my pants, not the other way around."

"Of course, that's the way it should be." He stated solemnly, sipping his tea and staring out the window into nothing in particular.

"My, my… Mr. Gold – a closet feminist." She teased mercilessly.

He gave her an inscrutable look before his seriousness melted away into a genuine grin.

"This is what I get for being raised well?"

The mock outrage made her giggle and she placed her empty cup on the table before turning back to him.

"Nope." She said confidently, "_This_ is what you get for being raised well."

She felt him flinch as her lips closed over his, and the muscles in his neck tensed under her touch, like he wasn't expecting this at all. That was a funny thought.

It took a few seconds for him to properly respond, but when he eventually did, she gasped against his parted lips once she felt his right hand tangling in her hair.

The cup clattered on the saucer deposited in his lap, and she broke the kiss only to find it dangerously close to falling on the floor. Thankfully, his reflexes were good, because he managed to steady it without even spilling the rest of the tea.

"Wow, that was close."

"_Oops."_

He seemed rattled for a moment, and leaned forward to leave the cup on the table.

"That would have left a stain." He muttered, and Ruby was glad that he was dexterous enough to have prevented the disaster. She wouldn't be paying for his dry cleaning, if it came to that.

"Oh please, am I not worth a pair of stained pants?"

Her dazzling grin was positively disarming, because he gave her a tiny nod in response, the awkwardness gradually dissolving until he admitted:

"Aye, that you are."

She beamed at his response and gave him a peck on the cheek. It was a bit more energetic than she had intended, but her good moods were always difficult to control.

Ruby realized that she appreciated his company nearly as much as she liked the way he made her respond; which wasn't her original plan, but it was, strangely, working out pretty well. A sudden yawn made her cover her mouth. She felt bubbly, but also exhausted. And for the first time in years, she wished to share a man's company beyond the strictly 'business' part. He seemed to put her mind at ease with his calm presence, and she wanted to stay right here, lean on him and sleep.

No, she promised Granny she'd be back before midnight, so sleeping here was not an option, no matter how appealing. With a soft sigh, she nestled into his right side and closed her eyes.

He didn't move to put an arm around her, but neither did he push her away.

That was probably a good sign, she thought.

"_Just five minutes… I'll rest here for a bit, and then I'll go. No harm in that…"_

Before the five minutes were up, she was fast asleep.


	6. Chapter 5 : Is There Room For Me Here?

Ruby squirmed, still half-asleep and her eyes fluttered open, the shroud of darkness surrounding her completely. She mumbled sleepily, snuggling into his side, and waited until she got used to the lack of visual input. When the dim surroundings finally took shape, she startled awake, breaking contact. She wiped the left corner of her lips out of habit and panicked slightly when she realized that she'd been drooling. To her immense relief, he didn't mention it, and he might not have even noticed because there seemed to be no little smirks present.

"How long was I out?" She mumbled, raking fingers though her hair.

"Not long. About an hour."

Shit. What time was it anyways? She promised Granny she'd be home before midnight, and unless she got a move on, there was no way she was going to make it on time, and breaking her promise really held no appeal at the time.

He seemed strangely at ease, and Ruby couldn't recall ever seeing him this relaxed. It was certainly an unusual sight, and the tame, quiet look he was directing her way made her shiver. This was not supposed to be happening. None of this.

She sprung to her feet like the settee had suddenly been lit on fire and said hastily:

"I should go home."

"Don't let me keep you, then."

He wanted to be mean. She could just tell. Whether it was because she dared drool on his expensive shirt or because she was leaving so abruptly, there was no way of knowing. A sudden urge to explain herself bubbled to the surface, and before she could squash the pesky, completely uncalled for idea, the words were already out in the open:

"I promised I'd be home by midnight, and since I've been coming home really late this past week, Granny's been on my case… If I break this promise, I'll be in real trouble. Trust me, if I had any choice, I'd stay here for the night."

Whoa! While the first part was intentional, she hadn't intended on letting him know about wanting to stay. The slip up was, frankly, not just embarrassing, but also way too exposing for her taste. She always tried to be the "what-you-see-is-what-you-get" type of girl, but revealing all of one's cards was still considered a stupid move in any relationship. Even one as deranged as this.

His expression was inscrutable and Ruby cursed inwardly. Would it kill him to actually show what he felt every once in a while?

But then again… This could be considered quite presumptuous of her – what if he didn't actually _want_ her to spend the night? That was perhaps a level of intimacy he wasn't ready for yet.

"Unless you don't want me to spend the night, which is… ok." She couldn't help her frown and tore her gaze from his to look at the floor, feeling miserable. "I guess."

Whatever he was feeling was none of her concern, but she really wanted to make it her business. It just wasn't fair, because here she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve, and he dared be all mysterious and locked up.

"And you would want that?"

This felt like a deflection to her, but he did seem curious. Once again, she was stumped by the wide range of his subtle emotions, but didn't allow it to cloud her better judgment. This wasn't about her, and he knew it.

"This is not about what I want, Gold. You'd think that a guy as smart as you could process a simple conversation. Or didn't you hear what I said?"

He honestly made her blood boil sometimes. She ran fingers through her hair and flipped it all to the left, over her shoulder.

"Yes, I meant what I said." She pushed on, trying to make a point even he would be unable to dodge, "I would spend the night; I mean, we are already doing the nasty, so I fail to see what's so controversial about sharing the bed to actually _sleep_."

He seemed taken aback for a moment, and grim satisfaction washed over her. Score.

"So? You in or you're out?" She looked up pointedly and spread her open palms apart in emphasis.

"_The ball is in your court, lover boy."_

He seemed deep in thought for a moment, and then looked up at her resolutely: "Would you like me to prepare a guest room for you?"

Now it was Ruby's turn to freeze in surprised stupor. He would go that far? What did this mean?

As far as she could see, it could be either of two things – he was getting ready to keep her in his life by having a room ready for her at all times, which was more than she expected, but this also meant that she was not invited to his bedroom, which felt like flat-out rejection on his part. So, she was good enough to have a little corner of his house, but not worthy of getting the keys to his inner sanctum?

Slight humiliation rose in her throat like bile, but she swallowed the venom and said through a soft sigh: "Sure, if it's not a problem or anything."

"Would I suggest it if it were?"

"I guess not." She shrugged.

"You know…" She chanced a look at him, a tentative grin faltering on her lips: "You could always save yourself the trouble of cleaning one of those unused rooms and just let me crash on your bed."

"I don't think that would be such a good idea."

"Why not?"

He gave her a pointed look and she could see the makings of a smirk forming on his face.

"Who knows what traps await in the monster's lair?"

She laughed at that and gave him an indulgent smile. He really was good at making her feel better.

"Oh? Afraid I'd make fun of your 100-dollar-bill nest mattress?" Her grin was challenging him to remember their conversation in the diner when he'd caught her staring at him.

His brief puzzled look was soon replaced by an incredulous little snort and she knew he remembered.

"Can't have you setting fire to my life savings, now, can I?"

She giggled and covered her mouth with the palm of her left hand. Damn, he could be so charming when he wanted to! It was insane.

"Don't worry…" she gave him a conspiratorial wink, "Your money is safe from me. Though… I can't say the same about your wardrobe."

"What could you possibly want with my wardrobe, pet?"

"Well, since you got to keep my underwear, I thought I'd get a trophy of my own…" She tried to look demure, but was pretty sure that it only ended up looking coy.

"You can have them back, you know. I'm not stopping you."

She raised an eyebrow at him and propped her hand on her left hip.

"_Seriously?"_

"Yeah, because wandering into that dark cellar blindly will totally not end up with me breaking my neck. Or is that what you were secretly hoping for?"

Her words carried a challenge, despite the humorous overtone.

"No, we can't have that, pet. I do believe I have a flashlight around here somewhere…" He got up and leaned against his cane, obviously intending to search for it right away.

"Nah, don't bother." She waved her hand dismissively: "Keep them as a memento."

"_It's not like I have an emotional attachment to them, it's just underwear." _

"Are you sure about that?" He quirked an eyebrow her way.

Damn him and his cutesy, crooked little smile.

"Yes. There is a price for it, though…"

His face lit up at her daring words, and she could see nothing but genuine amusement in his dark eyes.

"Turning my words against me, pet? That is quite audacious of you."

"I've learned from the best." She beamed, looking thoroughly self-satisfied.

"You are aware that it's not considered a gift if you demand something in return, right?"

She felt slightly mortified at that comment, and a small measure of shame crept up her cheeks, flushing them with heat. Her answer was gently defiant:

"Tit for tat, if I remember correctly."

He looked thrilled momentarily, and it left her speechless. The near childish amazement was a funny color on him, but she had to admit that it was charming beyond belief. It was perhaps a bit sick, but she couldn't help it.

"Indeed." He conceded. "What would you ask of me for this… memento?"

She pursed her lips and pondered for a while.

"The permission to burn that horrific black-and-white, checkered monstrosity you wore the last time you collected rent."

Bewilderment flitted across his face, and he replied: "You remember what I wore?"

"Yeah, I do… Not one of your stellar combinations, if I might add. What were you _thinking_?"

"It didn't clash with anything…" He offered.

"It was an affront to the senses, Gold. You're usually such an impeccable dresser, that I couldn't believe my eyes."

"Affront or not, I can't let you burn it." He chided gently.

"Then do me a favor and NEVER wear it again. Got it?"

He licked his upper lip and nodded.

"Deal."

"Good." She nodded in satisfaction, and then twitched alert.

"_Shit!"_

"I gotta go!" With a groan, she rushed past him to pick up her discarded shirt and jacket, throwing both on in haste, and gave him a startled look.

"Rain check for that sleepover? Call me!"

She zipped up and sprung to run for the back door, when his even voice reached her ears:

"I don't have your number, pet, and I doubt you'd want me calling through … official channels."

She blinked back confusion and then gaped. Of course! There's no way he would call the diner or the Bed & Breakfast; that would be… Bad.

"Pen and paper? Quick!" Her urgency wasn't graceful at all, but she couldn't afford to dawdle.

His gait seemed faster than usual as he passed her by and she watched him open a drawer on a little antique sideboard he had in his foyer. He took out a small booklet and a pen and she hopped to his side. After taking the items from his outstretched hand, she opened a page at random (it was empty) and scrawled her cell number in a hurry, checking it for a second only to make sure it was readable and then dropped in on the sideboard.

She almost sprinted to the door and froze just as her hand was on the knob. Leaving like this was a bit rude, wasn't it?

Pivoting on her heel, she looked at him. He hadn't moved from his spot.

In a couple of long strides, she was in front of him again and looked him straight in the eye. He seemed slightly surprised, and she took advantage of his confusion to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

"I had fun." She smiled. "Good night!"

"Yes… Good night to you too, pet."

She barely heard the last word before she was out of the door, greeted by the cool breeze of the night. Running to the woods, she tried to keep a clear head, but her thoughts were a jumbled mess.

Well, at least now she knew that he would no longer be avoiding her.


	7. Chapter 6 : You Should Have Known Better

To say that the sight of Mary Margaret and Dr. Whale coming into the diner together was an unpleasant surprise would be an understatement. At first, Ruby wasn't even sure the sight before her was real, and she had to pinch herself to make sure. The pain was the sad, but unmistakable indicator that she wasn't imagining things. What the hell was Mary Margaret doing with that guy? And why were they _here_ of all places? The diner was hardly a romantic spot for a first date.

Then it all came back to her.

The sleazebag was actually keeping his end of the bargain. She had never really given much thought to what would happen if they crossed paths again, which, right now, seemed like a terrible oversight on her part. The other, wildly disconcerting thing was the fact that he came in with Mary Margaret, of all people. She wasn't even his type! Good thing too, cause Ruby wouldn't wish Whale on any girl, especially not one of her best friends.

Why wasn't she told about the date? This was slightly irregular behavior for the petite teacher, and Ruby was at once fully immersed in confusion and no small amount of outrage. They were supposed to be _friends_.

But even more than M&M withholding information, what hurt the most was the brunette's choice of companion – she must be either a terrible judge of character, or extremely desperate to consider that slimeball a viable option for even a single date.

Ruby _really_ didn't want to take their order, but since she was currently the only waitress working the shift, she had no other choice. She kept a guarded expression as the pair expressed their craving for cappuccinos (they both ordered the same thing), and wasted no time in serving them. She made a conscious effort not to pay attention to Whale, and reserved her waiter-customer interaction exclusively for Mary Margaret. That way she wouldn't be tempted to splash the scalding coffee in his face, disgusting letch.

Thankfully, there were several other customers that needed her attention, and she busied herself with them.

She felt increasingly grumpy faced with the fact that she was told nothing about the date and wondered why one of her best friends would choose to stay quiet about something that important. While Mary Margaret was certainly more reserved than her (which wasn't all that hard, actually), the teacher still went on occasional dates. It was a shame that none of them worked out for her though. Ruby tried to give her advice, but the woman never listened. She kept waiting for a prince on a white horse, and while Ruby knew that it was never going to happen because life was no fairytale, watching disillusionment grow on her friend's face was still painful. She wanted her to be happy, to find her perfect guy and everything, and she would have spared her the agony of going on a date with the slithery doctor, if only she had bothered to_ tell her about it_!

Being kept out of the loop_ sucked_.

"_I thought we were friends…"_ Ruby thought bitterly and wondered why Mary Margaret found her unworthy of her trust. Maybe it just slipped her mind? That was certainly possible, but it still stung.

Ruby passed by their table in a gloomy daze and was promptly snapped out of her unpleasant thoughts when she heard her name being called. If there was any other option, she would have happily ignored Mary Margaret and her sleazy douchebag of a date, but, sadly, she had no choice. Turning on her heel, she tried not to look too sour as she said: "Yes?"

It was supposed to come across as her customary cheerful attitude, but the attempt turned out half-baked at best. The unintentional frostiness of the added "Mary Margaret?" didn't help either. If anything, it made her sound rather annoyed.

If someone had told her she'd be giving the sweet teacher a cold shoulder, she would have declared them a basketcase, but the truth was such - her feelings were hurt and she was lashing out in frustration.

"Check please." Mary Margaret said dejectedly, and Ruby immediately felt a pang of sympathy for the girl. This disaster could have been avoided.

A part of her was infinitely glad that Whale wasn't the one offering to pay, mostly because she didn't feel like watching his repulsive mug, and, on the other hand, a tiny despicable voice in her head was secretly perversely happy that Mary Margaret looked like a wreck. She should have asked Ruby for advice before booking a ticket to Disappointmentville!

No, truly, this could have all been avoided if only she'd been told about this inopportune date before it was too late. Then Mary Margaret would still have her ten bucks and less of a scowl on her face. It wasn't even half past nine when she left the diner in complete silence. Ruby watched her go, wondering if she was ok, and hoping that this didn't hurt her too much. She wondered what went wrong; they weren't in the diner that long.

Just when she was about to turn around and go back to her duties, Dr. Whale sailed into view.

"Err…" With a slight acknowledging tilt of his head and a "Good night, Ruby" he left as well.

She ignored him and went to their (now deserted) table to pick up cups and only then noticed that he left her a 5 $ tip.

What would usually be a sight for sore eyes, made her blood boil instead.

He broke their deal.

Or rather, he slipped through the loophole.

She wasn't sure if hanging around with Gold was starting to rub off on her or what, but she couldn't help but remember the deal she made with the doctor – he would bring his dates to the diner and leave big, fat tips for any waitress unfortunate enough to serve him.

She cursed the gaping hole in the 'contract' and felt an immediate need to throttle him.

Mary Margaret ended up footing the bill, which was admittedly an amazing stereotype breaker, but that was totally beside the point – letting the girl pay was a bit douchy. They could have at least split the bill, but Whale didn't even _try_ suggesting it.

Cheap asshole.

Her mind flew inadvertently to Gold – he did not only take her out to dinner in the best restaurant Storybrooke had to offer, he was attentive enough to prepare a flower for her and then paid for everything without batting an eyelash, even though it wasn't even considered a date.

Now that was a decent guy, not this stingy, watery-eyed tadpole with a shiny stethoscope dangling around his heck. How most of the town considered Gold a monster in comparison was completely beyond her.

People's perception was totally askew.

So, the creep got out of paying the bill. Still, his tip lay on the table as a testament that he wasn't flat out ignoring the deal that saved his scrawny ass from prison. Still, what happened here? The date, quite obviously, ended prematurely. But why?

Was it something he said? She was sure he was perfectly capable of producing a novel-length amount of macho misogynistic bullshit, but that wouldn't explain the disappointment on Mary Margaret's face. If anything, it would have made her angry and put her in a mood to argue and prove her point, rising to the defense of equality. Ruby was sure that the agitated teacher would have passionately bashed on his outdated views, but it didn't happen, which meant that it wasn't the reason for her departure.

But why else? Was he being insensitive? No… That wouldn't have provoked the demure girl to leave, or, at the very least, she would have looked more hurt about it.

She looked at the greenish piece of paper lying innocently on the table in front of her, and got a really nasty idea.

She was ignoring him the entire evening. No normal person would have left a tip to a waiter like that, their mutual agreement notwithstanding. What if he was just being his usual lecherous self and was staring at her butt while her back was turned?

That would explain Mary Margaret's disappointment, as well as the abrupt end of the whole affair.

Suddenly, the tip seemed like a dirty sort of payment for the 'view' he was getting, and Ruby had to suppress a snarl. It was really difficult, not racing after him to claw his beady little eyes out.

How dare he, the bastard!

He was on a frickin' _date_, for Christ's sake, and you are NOT supposed to ogle girls other than the one you are taking out!

It would seem that Gold had the right idea. The only way to deal with scum like that was a good ass-whooping.

She stared down at the five-dollar bill, eyes gleaming with contempt and disgust. As far as she was concerned, the damned thing was filthy and belonged in the trash, together with its fugly ex-owner.

Letting the hatred get the better of her, she shredded the bill with ritualistic, nearly zealous fervor and let the pile of confetti flutter into his half-drunk cappuccino. Now, the only thing left to do was to flush it down the toilet, and she'd feel marginally better. If only there was a way to do the same with the insufferable doctor!

She wished he'd just be true to his name for once, and go drown in the ocean on his own.


	8. Chapter 7: That's Just Like You

**Hello everyone! I'm so sorry about the monstrous delay, but my beta man got sick and then swamped by classes, so he had no time to finish this chapter until now. I hope the wait was worth it, hopefully he won't take as long with the rest... Thank you all for your follows and favorites, they make my day! I love you guys!**

**Enjoy! :D  
**

* * *

When Ruby failed to receive Mary Margaret's call for their weekly hot chocolate night, she tried really hard to rationalize that her wounded pride was not the cause of her not inquiring about the reason why the teacher wasn't calling. No, it was not Ruby's pride; she wasn't in the wrong here! It was decidedly not her fault that M&M had trust issues. So when there wasn't as much as a peep from her in over a week, Ruby felt more than justified in not breaking the silence.

Upon Emma's eviction from the Bed & Breakfast (which was utter bullshit, even Ruby could tell), it soon became public knowledge that Emma moved in with the sweet elementary school teacher, and while the Mayor seemed to hold quite a grudge against the blonde (for whatever reason), she couldn't make any further moves against her. There was something strange about the whole thing, almost like there was a war in the making and Ruby had a nagging suspicion that things would get way worse before they got any better. She just hoped that Mary Margaret wouldn't get caught in the crossfire.

On top of that, there was a new development and news of it spread like wildfire. It didn't take the rumor mill long to spread the news of a John Doe's mysterious resurrection from a years-long coma. Graham let slip some of the juicier details of the event, including the midnight trek in the woods and Mary Margaret's resuscitative mouth-to-mouth technique. Ruby knew her to be the type of person that would do the same thing for just about anyone in trouble, but she had a feeling that there was more to it than that. Mary Margaret just seemed... very invested in the guy. Still, the woman was as silent as a grave on the subject. Not a peep! You'd think an adventure like that would merit a mention to your best pal, but no.

„_What am I, a leper?" _Ruby groused in annoyance.

It stung, being kept in the dark. It just wasn't fair! If Ruby had found the love of her life, she would surely tell Mary Margaret all about it!

But then the situation with Gold came to mind, and her heart sank. Ok, not the love of her love, hardly love at all, but still…

Regardless, they were friends, and no matter how mad Ruby was, she'd hate to see Mary Margaret's kindness come back to bite her in the ass. Even though she didn't give a crap about the Mayor's schemes or grudges, and cared even less about the blonde newcomer; if either of them landed M&M in trouble, there'd be hell to pay.

Anyone who harmed her friends could expect swift retribution, usually in the form of mean glares for minor offenses, moving on to deliberately botched-up orders such as cold coffee or addition of salt instead of sugar; then to tire slashing for "serious" crimes. Ok, not that she ever resorted to that last option, but it was definitely on the table. She could still remember Sean's gallant departure after finding out that Ash was pregnant, and Ruby couldn't help but feel nothing but cold satisfaction upon remembering that luxuriously long and elaborate scratchmark she'd left on his car. Keying it was one of the more thrilling moments of her short-lived delinquency. She never got busted for it, but the intensity of hate in the glare she couldn't help but direct Sean's way each time she'd see him probably didn't leave any doubt as to who was responsible for the damage on his car.

At least the wuss had enough decency not to pursue the matter.

Ruby was never particularly good at hiding her contempt – everything else she could sweep under a rug of false smiles and meaningless chatter, but her hatred and anger were damn near-impossible to conceal completely.

And right now, she was angry with Mary Margaret. Not angry enough to act on it, but certainly enough to engage "ignore" mode. She wasn't the one in the wrong here, so Little Miss Sunshine could expect no more super-fun girl nights out. At least not until she got her priorities straight.

In the meantime, Ruby would just have to find new ways to help pass the time.

Unsurprisingly, her usual venues seemed boring and vastly unappealing at the moment.

Mary Margaret was off-limits, Ash was a bit too down for her current needs (she was sure she'd only end up bitching about M&M withholding info, and Ash certainly didn't need more doom and gloom in her life), and going out to the same old places with the same old crowd was just so… been there, done that.

Besides, she didn't feel like flirting meaninglessly with yet another guy she wasn't particularly interested in. It somehow felt… redundant.

What happened to dates, to simple nights out at the movies? She could barely remember the last time it happened. It must have been back when she was in high school, when she was about sixteen. The guy she was out with…

They were so silly back then, thinking that nobody could see them exchanging sneaky kisses in the semi-darkness of the cinema… The memory was teeth-rottingly sweet.

Ruby felt sick to her stomach.

No, those simple times were long gone. But, perhaps it didn't have to be the same for other simple pleasures. Just because her high school sweetheart was gone didn't mean…

Shit.

The depressing thoughts needed to go.

She'd never be able to take Gold to the movies, so what? Just because they couldn't be seen together in public didn't mean that having a movie night was out of the question! It was just a matter of changing the location, not the actual content.

Yes, that would make for a nice surprise, who cares if it ends up making him feel uncomfortable? The guy seriously needed to stop living like a misanthropic hermit.

If all that was necessary for a fun night was a burned DVD and a bowl of popcorn, then neither of them had any right to complain.

"I thought you'd never open the door." Ruby commented cheerfully as she let herself in. Gold looked slightly perplexed by the intrusion, but Ruby just giggled and ignored his budding discomfort.

Before he even had a chance to ask what she was doing on his back door at 10 p.m., she stopped right in front of him and waved a finger in disapproval:

"You didn't call," she feigned a pout, "most girls will tell you that's a big no-no." Then she flashed him an indulgent smile: "But, since I'm in a forgiving mood, I'll let you off the hook this time."

Gold seemed uncharacteristically out of sarcastic retorts and Ruby took it as a sign to go on. She took a step forward and looked around.

"Do you have a kitchen around here?" A look to her left revealed just what she was looking for, and, as it seemed, it was right next to the bathroom she was already intimately acquainted with. The reason why she missed it the first time around was because, back then, the light wasn't on. She strolled right in.

"Where's your microwave? Ah! Here it is!"

She couldn't see his face because he was still somewhere behind her back, probably too dumbfounded to react to her sudden claim of his facilities, but she was sure he probably didn't like it. Still, she was quite determined to make this night a success, even if he was reluctant about the whole thing and needed persuading.

She took her jacket off and hung it on one of the wooden chairs, and then rummaged through her bag after setting it on the table. She took out a package of microwave popcorn and moved to put it in the oven when he finally spoke.

"I see you already have a wonderful grasp on my utilities, so if you wouldn't mind sharing your plans with me…" he trailed off, waiting for her to answer.

She, in turn, took out a CD case out of her black shoulder bag with an expression of utterly infectious enthusiasm and said:

"What do you say to a first-ever movie night? I brought a couple of DVDs, so we could pick something we both like since I don't know your taste… And, well, since no movie is complete without popcorn, I brought that along too."

Gold just stood there for a long moment, staring at her with his eyebrows raised. There seemed to be just a bit too much surprise on his face and Ruby felt somewhat alarmed.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her brain in over-drive. "No, don't tell me…"

Gold cracked a smile and shrugged slightly. He seemed to be in a good mood all of a sudden and Ruby immediately felt better.

"You don't have a DVD player, do you?" She said matter-of-factly.

He gave her a coy smile and a mischievous look which she interpreted as confirmation of her suspicion.

"_Shit." _The thought sank in as she leaned against the sink.

"It seems I didn't really think this through, huh?" She felt really silly, and Mr. Gold chuckled.

"It would seem so."

"Well… What now? I already know you don't have a computer, so that's out too…"

This sucked. If he didn't even have a TV, this night was shot. As she struggled to think of a way to salvage the situation, his words startled her back into paying attention.

"I have a VCR." He offered, looking a bit whimsical in the process.

She burst out laughing. Now, why wasn't that surprising? You could count on Gold to have just about anything which was outdated. Would it kill him to keep up with the rest of the world? She wasn't exactly sure _what_ he had against progress, but had a hunch that it was probably due to some misguided principle.

"Ok, then." She nodded, her hair flaying about her face: "Do you at least have any tapes for it?"

"As luck would have it, I do."

"Luck doesn't have anything to do with it." She shot him with a disbelieving glare.

"_Oh, please Gold, like I don't know any better…"_

"Indeed not." He acquiesced.

Ruby observed him for a little while longer. His initial uneasiness had lessened considerably, which made him look almost relaxed. It was a strange thing, but Ruby felt like she could get used to this sight – it sort of agreed with him. More than his usual strict mask, anyways.

"Great." She sighed in relief. The night could still be salvaged!

After she managed to calm her rattled nerves (she didn't even notice them being rattled in the first place), she placed the package of instant popcorn into his microwave and set the timer.

Only when she was left with nothing to do, did she have a proper look around. His kitchen was of a simple design, perhaps a bit too dark for her tastes, but that could have been due to a layer of dust stretching across damn near every surface, as well as the half-closed blinds.

This wasn't a happy kitchen.

There was a large wooden table under the window, with four accompanying chairs. This immediately struck her as odd. Why would a bachelor have four chairs? He didn't entertain, that much was well-known.

Even if she'd squint really hard and disregard the chairs themselves, the table itself also raised questions. It was much too big for him alone. And, for a house which otherwise mirrored its master perfectly, this made little sense. Even if the mansion came furnished when he bought it (which was entirely possible), would he not buy a table to better suit his needs? Then again, to her knowledge, he wasn't the type to throw stuff away, even if he no longer needed it.

Despite being aware of that last fact, that huge table still left her with an impression of loneliness.

Was there really no one that sat there before? No family at all? While Granny was the only family she had left, at least she wasn't all alone. Losing that only comfort was something she couldn't even imagine. Ruby assumed that she'd probably crack if Granny ever decided to kick the bucket.

Curiosity overrode her caution and words flew right out of her mouth:

"Did you have a family once?" She regretted her words as soon as she saw the alarm that flashed across his face, but, by that point, it was too late to take them back.

"Where's this coming from?" There was something weary about his expression, like all the joy was suddenly sucked out of the room.

She shrugged and gave him an honest reply: "The table is too big for one person." Hopefully, he wouldn't take offense.

This was probably one of those things he didn't want to talk about. She empathized, but still hoped he might cave in and tell her.

"Was this your parents' house? Did you inherit it from them?"

His eyes narrowed slightly as he scrutinized her, probably in an attempt to figure out why she asked that of all things.

"No, I did not."

A simple, to-the-point answer. This, she could work with.

"Ah." She said and fell into contented silence. The lack of any further comments on her part seemed to work wonders for getting his tongue loose, and he fell for the feint.

"Why?" He asked cautiously.

"Oh, no reason." She decided to play it out smoothly and paced around his kitchen, feigning sudden interest in his cabinets. "I just thought that, if this were your parents' house, maybe you kept their table, since you don't seem to ever throw anything away… But, since that _isn't_ the case…" She trailed off deliberately and monitored his response.

His shoulders relaxed and he shook his head lightly in defeat. His body language was loud and clear: "You got me"; it said.

"Which means…" she continued: "that you were either married, or had a ton of siblings you never tell anyone about."

"If you're so sure about those little theories, why don't you pick one?"

Oh? Did this mean that he would at least nod if she got it right?

This didn't even require thinking.

"Were you married?"

His gaze turned distant all of a sudden, and he murmured, more to himself, before shaking the reminiscence out of his eyes, and looking back at her.

"In another lifetime."

There was something deeply meaningful about his gaze, but she wasn't sure what it was that he was trying to convey.

"What happened?" She hoped the vagueness of the question would make him elaborate.

Gold made an indifferent face and said: "She left."

This was impossible. He was revealing his past, the past nobody knew _anything_ about. This was an opportunity she couldn't afford to waste.

"Why?" As carefully and considerately as she was trying to pose such a delicate question, her voice was tinted with a fair amount of incredulity.

Gold smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. His voice rippled with bitterness as he spoke:

"I don't know. I'm sure she had her reasons."

But he _did_ know, Ruby was sure of it. Still, pressing the issue didn't feel right, considering the fact that he ended up telling her much more than she ever expected, so she counted her blessings and hoped that his mood wasn't ruined beyond repair.

As if on cue, the microwave bleeped and Ruby got the puffed-up bag out.

"Got a bowl?" She asked brightly.

Instead of answering, he opened one of the cabinets and took out a gleaming silver one.

"Ha!" She exclaimed, pointing a finger at him.

"What?" He asked, looking amused in advance.

"So, not _everything_ you own is an antique!"

He chuckled and shrugged: "You got me."

"To be perfectly honest, I'm surprised you even have a microwave. I half expected a furnace and a stack of firewood in the corner…"

"Considering the material this house is made of; that would be a safety hazard, pet. I may be old-fashioned, but I'm hardly suicidal. Besides, swinging an axe is a bit of a challenge at my age."

The smug grin he was directing at her had equal parts self-satisfaction at his own wit and pleasure at her amusement.

"You could always make that Lurch guy chop it up for you." She suggested reasonably.

He seemed utterly bewildered for a second and then chortled, covering his face with his left hand.

"Mr. Dove, you mean?"

"Is that his name?" One mystery was resolved, but the name clashed so violently with the image that she couldn't help her reaction: "You've got to be kidding me!"

"I kid you not, pet. And the irony is not lost on me either, I assure you."

She grinned and ripped open the paper bag. After dumping its contents into the bowl, she picked it up and looked at him with a most dazzling smile on her lips.

"Lead the way!"

It looked like he was considering denying her request, but the thought must have been short-lived, since he just sighed and stepped out of the kitchen. Ruby followed him as he ascended the staircase and felt slight trepidation at the sight of the house unveiling in front of her eyes. On the first floor, he led her to the left of the staircase. There was a wide niche in what looked like a hallway, with a flower-print settee leaned against a wall, and opposite of it, in the niche itself, a small cabinet with a TV on top. The thing likely didn't see much use, if a finger-thick coat of dust was anything to go by.

"So… What kind of movies do you like?" She asked.

Much to her surprise, it didn't really take him long to answer. Was it possible that he was starting to mellow in her presence?

"I've always been fond of westerns."

Ruby found that hilarious and burst out in giggles.

"Something wrong with my choice?" He inquired with interest.

"No, nothing wrong with it… I just find it funny. It's so like you, though, now that I think about it."

"How so?" He was definitely intrigued now, she could tell by how attentively he was looking at her.

"Well, most main characters are totally morally ambiguous. Figures you'd like that."

"What are you implying?" He inquired roguishly, clearly looking to her for entertainment.

"Oh, don't play dumb, mister. It doesn't suit you." She reprimanded.

He provided a fake exasperated sigh and raised his hands, giving up.

"All right, you got me."

Ruby grinned widely. "I seem to be on a roll."

"So it would seem." He nodded.

"Don't worry," she gave him a conspiratorial look, "I won't let my guard down."

He answered her wink with a mischievous smile.

"A most prudent choice."

"Speaking of choices," she interrupted, "what are we going to watch?"

He made a show out of pretending that she'd hurt his feelings and spoke theatrically:

"Since you shot down my initial suggestion, I will allow you to choose."

She really didn't feel like watching anything depressing or sappy – there was way too much drama around her already. This left her with only one choice.

"Got any comedies?"

He pondered for a moment: "I'm sure I could find something adequate… Though I'm afraid that my collection is somewhat limited."

"Let me guess, nothing more recent than the 1960's?"

"You might consider playing the lottery, hmm?" He added nonchalantly.

Puzzled, she just stood there for a moment before the joke made itself clear. It coaxed a ridiculous grin on her face and she gave him a light punch to the ribs.

"Yeah, I should totally go to Vegas."

The playful air he had about him dissipated as he turned serious abruptly, his voice carrying a warning: "Vegas is no place for an impressionable young lady."

Ruby snorted. She was hardly a lady, but the fact he considered her one was oddly endearing. Suddenly, it all felt like a game.

"What if I had a chaperone?" Two could play, if that was what he wanted.

"I doubt your grandmother would approve, much less accompany you willingly."

Wow, just wow. How did he manage to miss the point so spectacularly?

"Who said I'd invite her along?"

"Who would you invite, then?"

There was no way he was that thick. No way. She put the bowl down on the seat and propped an elbow on her hip.

"I could take you," she said daringly.

"I'm not really the gambling type, pet."

"You like playing it safe, huh?" She teased mercilessly.

"I should get you a gold star."

Ruby couldn't help but grin stupidly at that. Having inside jokes was definitely a good sign.

"So, are we gonna watch something or not?"

"Tired of my company so soon?" She could see that he was going for humorous, but it wasn't quite there. She shot back without bothering to think about the answer:

"Never."

He blinked twice in rapid succession and took a step back. He seemed at a lack for words, so he hid his discomfort by fiddling with the cabinet. He opened it with a creak and Ruby could see him checking out the tapes. Surprisingly, there weren't very many. For a man who kept tons of junk and never threw anything away, his movie collection was totally meager.

Maybe he preferred books? Those would certainly be antique enough for his tastes. After a minute or two, Gold took out two tapes and turned to her:

"Left or right?"

"Uhh…" she hesitated, "… right?"

"The Court Jester." He announced: "A fine choice, if I might say."

"Cool." Well, that sounded funny enough. "It _is_ about a jester, right?"

"You shall see…" He answered mysteriously as he put the tape in. After the VCR swallowed it, he grabbed both remotes and sat down next to her. She was slightly mad when she realized that the bowl separated them.

As it turned out, the movie was about a very eloquent Robin Hood wannabe (the equivalent in the movie was called "The Black Fox"). The protagonist impersonated a court jester Giacomo, who was, in turn, a cleverly disguised assassin (not that the hero knew that at first).

The fact that a woman was second in command of the forest gang was a big plus in Ruby's book.

The plot was silly and ridiculously over the top, but it was pretty obvious that the movie didn't take itself very seriously.

The story itself was a worn-out cliché (a usurper to the throne, and the rightful heir: a babe with a purple royal birthmark - dethroned and awaiting heroes to defend his birthright), except it was being made fun of quite openly, which was a total delight. The main actor was brilliant and talked super fast. He was a pretty good singer, as well as a hilarious comedian, all in one.

Heh, Mr. Gold was right – they really didn't make 'em like that anymore.

Ruby found herself giggling madly on more than one occasion. She could see the appeal – the humor might've been somewhat simple, but it was substantially wittier than anything movies these days came up with.

There was also this scene where the main hero, Hawkins, rocks the baby king and the sassy ginger second-in-command, Maid Jean, watches and listens to him sing. It was a sweet scene, Ruby had to admit. Even though Jean was bound to her duty, you could see she liked him, even though he was no fighter, and openly admitted to being somewhat of a coward. Still, Jean liked him for who he was – a gentle man who would make for a good father.

"Oh, they're so gonna make out." Ruby commented as she chewed on more popcorn. She chanced a look at Gold, trying really hard not to smile at his half smirk.

And not five minutes later, Jean and Hawkins were snuggling next to one another on a pile of straw (conveniently close because the cottage roof was leaking). When they finally kissed, Ruby let out an excited: "Ha! Knew it!"

Gold chuckled for whole two seconds and went back to watching the film. Ruby forgot that her attention was supposed to be on the movie and watched him instead. The atmosphere was _almost_ right. But then she started thinking. Hawkins and Gold, now, there were two people who were polar opposites. While Hawkins was an honest, kind, slightly cowardly man who still tried his absolute best for the people he cared about; Gold was a manipulative, secretive and entirely reclusive man who showed no concern for anyone.

But then again, Hawkins had someone to care for – Jean, whom he loved, and the baby king he sought to protect. Who did Gold have? He had no children, no wife, not even a pet to take care of. He didn't even have a reason to _try_. She bit her lower lip and felt a sting in her eyes.

Before he could suspect what was going through her head, she turned back to the screen hastily.

He didn't want to try. Perhaps it was due to some bitter disappointment he felt when he was younger; a hurt so bad it left him completely disillusioned? She had no way of knowing what happened to him, but she suspected that his ex-wife had something to do with it.

Did he love her, truly, only to find himself abandoned?

Damn it, why were women suckers for a sob story? Ruby frowned and gave herself a mental Gibbs smack. Women never just left for no reason at all. He must have done something to deserve it, she was sure of it.

Except none of the usual things men did seemed to fit. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't imagine him being unfaithful. That was a weird thought. At what point did she start wishing him to be?

To be fair, every woman wanted a faithful man, even though they were well aware that a vast number of them weren't, and never would be. Still, women clung to the hope that their man would be different from all the rest.

Gold _was_ different, she thought with dismay. There was nobody quite like him in Storybrooke, and likely beyond, as well.

At what point did she get this tangled in a man that shouldn't mean a thing to her?

Was it the way he defended her, or how nice he was to her on the date, or was it his wicked sense of humor? Or was it just sex; just an amazing chemical reaction in her brain that invaded the rest of her body with a force which obliterated everything else?

She squashed her desire and forced herself to pay attention to the movie. It wasn't long before the colorful costumes and funny dialogues distracted her enough to forget. As the story went on, Ruby found herself leaning onto him occasionally, shaking with laughter. Whenever their gazes would meet, he seemed so calm in his amusement that it soothed her. If she reached out, how would he react? Would he flinch and shy away? Or would he sigh into her mouth as she kissed him and pull her closer?

She didn't dare try.

So she tore her gaze away every time and tried to regain her focus.


	9. Chapter 8: I'll Follow You

After the credits rolled out, Gold shut the TV off. Ruby was oddly pensive. She was remembering things she would rather forget. She knew she should let bygones be bygones, but it was too hard at times.

"I missed this…" She murmured more to herself, but loud enough for him to hear.

"And what would that be, exactly?" Gold inquired with a guarded expression.

"Going out for a movie." She replied simply, feeling slightly dazed.

"This hardly qualifies as an outing, pet."

Even though he was chiding her slightly, the nickname grounded her.

"Heh," she snickered, "at least your couch is comfier than the seats in the theater." She had no idea where it was coming from, but the humor couldn't be stopped. "Sure, your TV can't compare with the screen in size, but they do say that 'size doesn't matter', so…"

"Whatever do you mean?"

She turned to him, finally facing his intent gaze and answered with an awkward smile: "I can't remember the last time the movie didn't suck."

This made him smile in turn, as if he was relieved somehow.

"You doubted my taste?" He teased.

"Not really…" she admitted, "it's just been a very long time since I've had this much fun, that's all." She was, perhaps, unable to take him out to the movies, but going out wasn't what was important. Sure, she missed not being able to sneak in some kisses in the dark, but at least here they didn't have to hide. Despite that, there was still a feeling of doing something forbidden as she leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Thank you."

She didn't touch him anyplace else, and the sight of the bowl still between them was beginning to annoy her.

He seemed uncertain for a moment and asked: "Whatever for?"

She replied in all honesty: "For making me feel better."

"A pleasure, I assure you." He did a half-bow and accompanied it with a silly little wave of his hand which only made her grin wider. It made his hair flutter around his face, and the way he shook his head to make it all fall back into place was just a tiny bit mesmerizing.

Ok, no. She needed to stop getting carried away.

It's not like he was _that_ good-looking. Despite that, she still couldn't find any part of him which displeased her, not even his age (which was, let's face it, a determining factor for a lot of women). Hey, women have loved men older than Mr. Gold, with a passion too! By association, Sean Connery came to mind – he still looked fabulous.

Like fine wine, eh? Ruby chuckled upon remembering the night which was supposed to be a disaster, but had ended up exceeding all of her expectations. Even if she was a wreck come the morning.

Replaying some of the juicier details of that first night in her mind only served to ignite the flames that were never fully extinguished in the first place. The attraction was still there, impossible to deny or ignore, and, right now, she felt quite unable to resist the temptation. The fact that she managed to get through the film without making a move was already impressive enough on its own.

And why should she resist? This place was safe from prying eyes. With nobody to witness their (inter)actions - or interfere - she felt bolder than usual. Here, in his house, the one place nobody's ever seen, she could just be herself.

There was just so little in this town that felt worth her while, and against all reason, Gold stood out as one of the few things which held her interest. If it's been years since she's last been on a movie date, how long must have it been for him? Decades?

She looked deep into his eyes and knew – it's been so long that he didn't even seem to miss it anymore.

Well, just because he'd given up didn't mean that she had to do the same.

With that thought, she took the bowl and placed it on the floor on her right. When her gaze found his again, his expression was unreadable, and Ruby felt uncharacteristically bashful all of a sudden.

"I missed it…" She all but whispered, her voice losing all strength. He didn't speak, but she could see that he wanted to know what she was on about, so she continued:

"Not just the dates, or the movies… I missed… company." She fidgeted in her seat, averting her eyes. The overwhelming uncertainty felt alien, felt… more like that old self she thought gone forever. She was revealing too much, she knew, but the words refused to stop.

"Good company." She amended and started to pull at a stray thread that came loose on the seam of her top. "Somebody I can hang out with who doesn't expect anything from me, who takes me as I am. That's pretty rare, so…"

His silence didn't last long.

"Well, it's a good thing nobody knows where you are, then, for I sincerely doubt they'd share your opinion."

There was a tangible humorous overtone in his words, but the barb of truth was still piercing through the padding. Sheesh, he seemed so _resigned_ with the way everybody perceived him. It was awful to watch.

"If I cared about their opinion one bit, I wouldn't be here." She wasn't sure where this pent-up anger and outrage were coming from, but she realized that it had something to do with the inexplicable need to defend him.

"Perception is a powerful thing, pet. You'd do well not to underestimate it."

"I know that!" she raised her voice in exasperation: "I know… But they're not worth the trouble. Why should I go out of my way to spare their feelings when they do nothing to spare mine?" She blurted out bitterly.

His puzzled glance made her sigh. Of course he wouldn't understand.

"You're not the only one people gossip about behind your back, but at least they respect you."

Gold chuckled darkly at that and spoke with a knowing smile: "Do not mistake fear for respect. Besides, my level of notoriety is not something you should strive for."

Ruby noticed, for the very first time, how bitter it sounded when he spoke of himself. It was strange, but she knew then that there must be a part of him, buried deep, which sought recognition and acceptance. When he realized that he'd never get the latter, he settled for the former.

She could tell he was resigned, resigned – but hardly happy.

Ruby knew a thing or two about suppressing old regrets. You could bury them under a ton of rock and sand, but those old inadequacies had a nasty habit of rearing their ugly heads at the most inopportune of times. She didn't come here to feel _worse_, or to make him remember things he wished to forget. If their past mistakes were hell-bent on ruining a perfectly nice evening, she would not give it up without a fight.

"You settled." She made an observation, watching him intently. He, in turn, remained quiet. Well, if he didn't want to join the conversation, she would give him a piece of her mind.

"I have no idea who messed you up so badly that you'd grow to hate everyone around you, but your tactics won't work on me."

"Tactics?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. You're pushing the rest of the world away. Well, too bad, 'cause I ain't goin' anywhere."

"You should though, it _is _rather late. Your grandmother will be worried."

Ruby narrowed her eyes dangerously and felt like smacking him across the head, Gibbs style. He was going to fail. There was no way she'd allow him to find some lame excuse to send her away. She took his silence as an excuse to reduce the distance between them and very nearly crawled into his lap, looking at him suggestively.

"I was planning on using that rain check tonight…" Before she was done saying it, her hands were already clasping behind his neck. "Unless you have a problem with that."

Her eyes blazed with determination, but he still seemed defensive.

"Are you sure your grandmother won't miss you?"

Ruby chuckled and shook her head.

"She's not the boss of me. Besides, I've already told her I'm spending the night at Mary Margaret's."

"You've given this a lot of thought, I see." He noticed.

"And _you_," she pointed a finger at his chest accusingly and poked him, "haven't given it any. I bet that you didn't even prepare me a room 'cause you thought I wouldn't come back, isn't that right?"

His gaze, which was until that point fixed to her face, dropped lower. In a voice barely a notch over a whisper, he spoke:

"I have."

When he failed to explain what it was that he had done exactly, she had no choice but to pressure him.

"You have what?"

He looked up and their eyes met.

"Prepared a room."

She blinked a couple of times in disbelief, momentarily unable to process what he was saying.

"Even though you thought you'd never see me again?"

His gaze didn't waver, and she was unable to read the emotion hidden within. This had the potential to change everything.

"Is that why you didn't call? Because you thought I'd change my mind? We made a deal, remember?"

"Hope is a luxury of fools, pet."

He was doing this to himself. He was _convinced_ that nobody could like him or want him.

"Only if it's a fool's hope," she retorted cleverly, "and I think I've given you something a bit more substantial than hope… Unless you need more convincing?"

"You have no need to prove anything, least of all to me, pet."

So, he didn't feel comfortable with their arrangement, after all. Didn't they 'seal the deal' the last time she was here? They had sex to sign the stupid 'contract'! He responded to her then, so why was he so damn reluctant now? He was impossible.

How could he give her so much, receive an equal amount in return, and still be this puzzled about it? If he thought she was insincere, why did he sleep with her? Was he really that lonely?

"I'm not trying to prove a point here, hotshot. I'm here 'cause I wanna be. Or is that against your moral code or something?"

"What makes you think I have one?"

Oh, he was trying to warn her again, but the slight quiver in the corner of his lips betrayed him. She gave him an indulgent look of mildest reproach and said:

"Everyone has some sort of code."

"Even you?" Gold seemed very curious.

"Yup, everyone kind of includes me, as well."

"Care to tell me about this secret set of rules, hmm?"

"Oh, not much…" Ruby began, "it's to put my family and friends first, to always brush my teeth before bed, and to never sleep with a guy on the first date."

"Breaking your own rules for my sake?" he teased.

She laughed breathily – "More than you know."

He stared into her eyes intently, and she wondered what it was that he hoped to find in there. She could sense a vague sort of weariness coming from him, which annoyed and unsettled her immensely. All she wanted to do was to wipe it off his face.

Her eyes closed and she pressed her lips to his slowly but firmly. Whatever it was that bothered him, she gathered he could use a distraction. She knew she'd take a make-out session over depression any day. Too bad nobody decent usually bothered to present her with the offer.

His mouth was unresponsive for an agonizing two seconds, but then she felt his palms on the small of her back, and his lips parted in silent welcome. Her moan mingled with his soft sigh and her mind went completely blank. No longer could she think of his motives or secrets, not when the alternative was so appealing.

Suddenly, all that mattered was their distance, or rather, their closeness. She scrambled closer until she was hovering above his lap, straddling his knees.

"This is your last chance to go home." He managed to wheeze out between kisses, and she gripped his shoulders and hissed in response:

"Would you _stop_ trying to take the moral high ground here? We're a bit past that point. We were past it when you had your wicked way with me on that shiny antique table of yours. Now, we can argue some more and then have angry sex, which does sound somewhat appealing, or we can cut the crap and stop wasting time."

"I noticed that the outcome stays the same no matter what I choose."

"Well, you could _choose_ to throw me out, but the outcome of _that_ will _not_ be pretty, you can be sure of that" she said gravely.

"Should I fear for my tires?"

She snorted and shot back: "You should fear for the paint job for sure." _"And a Molotov through your shop's window."_

"A cheap price to pay."

Oh, this was getting tiresome. If he wanted her out, he should have been more direct. This way, however, she was left considerable elbow room to make sure she got what she wanted despite his best efforts to resist.

With a fluid motion, she took her top off and flung it behind her back, all the while carefully observing his responses. The quick breath he drew assured her that she was on the right track. Even if he wasn't really looking to forget his troubles, she still felt the need to provide him with a distraction.

She twined her fingers into his ruffled hair and kissed him passionately. She wanted him to feel what she felt – the need, the desire. How long was it since someone wanted him? As much as she wanted to know the answer, the heat was rising in her, obliterating every coherent thought in its wake.

She shivered when his hand caressed her back and groaned in protest when he broke the kiss to speak:

"Might I suggest a change of location?" He offered, and she had to admit that it made sense. No matter how reluctant she was to stop what they were doing, a bed would be much more suited for their needs.

"Ok…" she agreed but didn't want to get up just yet. After she gave him another greedy kiss, he pulled her head back slightly and bit her neck. It wasn't rough, but it wasn't gentle, either. The pressure was just _right_, and she moaned; her fingers grasping the back of his head.

After he let go, she sensed that he wished to move for real this time, and she obeyed, scrambling to her feet. He got up, cane in hand and started walking.

Ruby noticed it got colder all of a sudden and crossed her arms to preserve some warmth. She followed him as he crossed the hallway, leading her to yet another staircase.

She shadowed him without a word.


	10. Chapter 9: There Is Room For Me

**A/N: ****_Hello, my dearies! Our story continues! It only gets more interesting from now on, so make sure you stick around. As always, thank you for reading and reviewing. You're all lovely and make me try harder!_**

**_Enjoy! =)_**

* * *

Ruby walked up the stairs like a woman possessed. Her gaze was fixated on his back and she was unable to look away. A part of her was _afraid _of looking away. What if something changed her mind? The more rational part of her was trying to burrow its way back to the surface of her consciousness, doing its very best to warn her that she was about to go to bed with the meanest man in town. _Again._

She cursed inwardly. This was a pretty shitty time to be having second thoughts. Was it the cold air, finally forcing her to come to her senses? Why was she second-guessing herself now? They've already slept together twice, what was the point in being shy?

The first time might have been under the influence, but the second had no such excuse. Both of those were completely consensual. She was no victim here, nor was she being taken advantage of. Heck, she didn't even feel used. Gold was one of the few men that didn't make her feel like crap. Neither did he make her feel cheap.

Damn it, things were so much easier when her brain just engaged full-blast lust mode. At least then she was free of doubt.

While she was busy thinking, the staircase came to an end. She followed Gold to the second door on the left and came to a halt before him. He opened the door and gestured towards it with his right hand.

"_Ladies first, huh?" _She thought, remembering the same motion from the restaurant. Gallant, childish, monstrous. He was likely all of those things. That didn't make him a bad person, merely a complex one. Which words could apply to her? Sassy, rash, vixen? Or slut?

"Changed your mind yet?"

His words snapped her right out of her thoughts, and she looked him in the eye. He wasn't smiling. There was something cold and calculated in his gaze and it worried her. Why was nothing ever simple with him?

She didn't feel capable of voicing any coherent thoughts. Words felt cheap all of a sudden. He couldn't be swayed by words, anyway. Not when he used them as weapons all the time. He searched for traps everywhere; even her presence was making him wary. The Big Bad Wolf was not supposed to be backing away from a little girl. So, who was truly prey here?

As impossible as it seemed, Ruby felt completely in control. Suddenly, the fearsome Mr. Gold didn't seem all that dangerous at all. If she wanted, she could make him do whatever she wished, and felt like he'd be utterly incapable of resisting.

She closed what little distance remained between them in two small, deliberate steps. Her eyes never left his as she pushed him against the door-frame, both palms sliding up his chest. He didn't move, he didn't even _breathe_.

Ruby started unbuttoning his shirt carefully, refusing to break eye-contact. A part of her wanted nothing better than to kiss him senseless, rough and with no delay, but she wanted to _see_ his breaking point. She _needed_ to see the exact moment where his resolve would melt away, when he'd give in to desire.

Once all of the buttons were undone, her hands slid across his bare chest and she felt a slight twitch of his muscle where she touched. Heh, despite all his self-control, he couldn't control _everything. _

She was trying to think of things to do that didn't require breaking eye-contact and fell short. Only one thing came to mind, and she went with it. She brought his chin closer with her right hand and flicked out her tongue near his lips, barely grazing them. He breathed in sharply and the next thing she felt was his left hand tangling in her hair.

She watched him breathlessly as he held her in place, only about an inch between their faces, but far enough for her to whimper at the lack of contact. Her left hand was still resting on his chest and she unconsciously dug her fingernails into his flesh.

He hissed in pain and bared his teeth.

"Sheathe your claws, my dear. I'm not your dinner."

She let go immediately, captivated by the dark tone of his voice. He still had a firm grip on her hair and she trembled in anticipation of what might happen next. She wondered whether he would send her packing now, considering the fact that he had no appreciation for getting hurt. Getting thrown out was the last thing she wanted.

"Sorry…" She apologized instinctively, gently touching the place where she scratched him in an awkward attempt to ease his pain, as well as his anger.

"I like a bit of pain, but if you don't, then I won't… It wasn't on purpose. I'm sorry."

She felt like she must have looked pitiful, if her pathetically apologetic tone was anything to go by. Mr. Gold's face twisted with a dark smile, and she felt like someone had just pulled the ground from under her feet. He bit her neck and she gasped; it felt like she was being devoured.

The thought should have been terrifying, but the heat between her legs which was starting to get unbearable was telling a different story. She moaned and pressed herself against him, her right hand caressing his neck.

"It would seem that you weren't lying…" He murmured against her ear and she shivered in his arms.

"Why would I lie?" She asked, stupefied.

He let go of her hair and took her chin in hand, murmuring with a downright savage gleam in his eyes: "Everybody lies, pet. It's just the reasons that vary."

"Wait, what? Why would I lie about this?"

"To distract me, of course."

"And do what?" She couldn't help the outrage in her voice. "You think I'm going to rob you or something?"

"There's nothing of value in this room even if you wished to."

She narrowed her eyes at him and spat: "I'm not a fucking thief, Gold."

"I never said you were."

Oh, he was testing her patience. Well, if he wanted to see her mad, he was doing a great job.

"No, you were just calling me a liar. I'm still waiting for you to tell me _why_ I would lie."

Gold let go of her and moved to close the door from the outside and Ruby snapped, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back so he would face her.

"No. You don't get to decide this on your own. Tell me what I did wrong!"

His angry expression dissolved into a look of utter bewilderment. His voice was equally hesitant:

"What makes you think you've done something wrong?"

No, there's no way he could be saying that after very nearly kicking her out for no reason at all. Was he bipolar or something? That would explain the bitchin' mood swings.

"Do you hear yourself?!" She raised her hands in exasperation: "You just blew up on me! So, yeah, there must be a reason why, otherwise you'd be a psychopath!" With that said, she felt her temper cooling and sighed: "I already said I was sorry about the scratches, it won't happen again, ok?"

He shook his head lightly and seemed at a loss for words.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I won't pry. But, please, if something I do bothers you, go ahead and _tell_ me before it gets so bad that you have to blow up in my face. Ok?"

He seemed completely puzzled as he watched her, his eyes gentle and tortured at the same time.

"What are you doing here, Ruby?"

She tried to suppress the surprise the use of her name evoked, and focused on giving him a coherent answer. He seemed in desperate need of it.

"I'm standing in front of the room you prepared for me, half naked. And I'm trying, unsuccessfully so far, to get into your pants. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Like you're trying way too hard." No matter how accusatory he was trying to make it sound, she could feel nothing but sincerity behind it. He seemed… _wounded_.

She sighed and rolled her eyes, her posture reducing to a slouch.

"Would you cut the crap already?" She pushed his shoulder playfully. "I'm not here to swindle you or something! Despite what you think, not everyone is out to get you."

"That would be a first." He remarked ruefully.

"There's a first time for everything. You just have to stop _resisting_ me every damn chance you get."

He looked at her like she was an apparition.

She tugged on his sleeve and flashed him her most reassuring smile.

"Come to bed."

When he obeyed quietly, she had a hard time believing it. Actually, this whole situation was _insane_. Not only was she having an affair with Mr. Gold, she was the one that was forced to drag _him_ to bed. There were so many things wrong with this picture that she dared not start naming them.

She let go of his sleeve and stood on a small oval carpet lying on the floor in front of the bed. Her back was straight and she tried to show him that she wanted to be here, wanted to please him. Hey, nobody could claim that she was unattractive. That was, at least, one of the things she could be absolutely confident about.

She unbuttoned her pants and was about to pull the fly down, but then stopped. An idea struck, and it was _brilliant_.

"You do it."

His frown suggested confusion, so she elaborated: "Strip me."

For about ten seconds, he did nothing. Her heart was pounding hard in her chest, as wild as a tribal drum. Would he chicken out and leave? She had no idea what she would do if that happened.

Mercifully, he chose to move closer, and she exhaled in relief. She blinked back surprise and worry when he walked right past her, but calmed once she realized that he sat on the bed to stop putting pressure on his bad leg. She turned to him and watched as he set his cane against the nightstand, careful to set it up so it wouldn't slide off and fall.

She could barely see his features now. The weak back-light provided by the street lamps outside made her only vaguely aware of the shape of the room and the furniture within. The light coming from the corridor wasn't of much use either, not now when she was blocking it. She took a step closer, until she was standing between his knees, looking down at him.

He brought his right hand up agonizingly slowly and held it in front of her belly, almost like he feared what would happen if he touched her. While she would ordinarily tell him to stop being stupid, she felt compelled to hold her tongue. It seemed almost like he was trying to break some sort of barrier in himself, and she didn't want to do anything to ruin his efforts.

When he finally placed his hand on her stomach, Ruby trembled. She couldn't help the little needy moan that escaped her, and when his cheek brushed against her skin, her knees felt weak all of a sudden. When he started kissing her, the spot right above her bellybutton, she let out a tiny gasp of surprised pleasure and buried her hands in his hair.

Nobody had ever done this to her. Nobody ever bothered kissing her anyplace other than her mouth or neck. The guys she went out usually went for her breasts, ass or thighs, and, incidentally, those three were the only things they complimented. She didn't count that old 'you've got beautiful eyes' line, 'cause it was full of crap. Nobody looked at her for her eyes.

Also, she was sure that nobody knew what her favorite part of herself was. Nearly all of her was on display most of the time anyway; no wonder they'd have a hard time guessing.

And now, he was kissing it.

Damn it, he didn't even know what he was doing to her.

"Gold…" she breathed out without conscious thought. The last thing she wanted was for him to stop, and hoped that he wouldn't assume it was a question.

Seconds trickled by in silence. She couldn't hear anything, and it almost felt like she was sucked out into space. Even her own quickened breathing was somehow muted and the only thing piercing through the numbness was the feel of his lips and the way his stubble scratched her skin lightly. When his left hand caressed her waist, she felt like dying right there on the spot. Her head snapped back of its own accord and a swarm of bright speckles shot by in front of her eyes.

Ruby lost all track of time as he continued his gentle touches all across her abdomen and lower back. This was torture, beyond a doubt, but the best kind she had ever experienced… It was a selfish thought, but she wished, _hoped_ that she was the first woman he did this to. As unlikely as that was.

But then again, his marriage seemed an unhappy one. What if his wife denied him in bed? Ruby hated women like that, they gave the rest of them a bad name, but she wasn't stupid enough to think that women like that didn't exist. Well, whatever his ex might have done or failed to do, she left him scarred. Scarred and _scared_. That was when it dawned on her, what if Mr. Gold was really, truly scared?

Afraid of trusting someone, afraid of renewed intimacy, afraid of opening his heart and getting hurt all over again?

Ruby felt almost guilty for figuring out what he would surely think of as a weakness.

Careful not to interrupt him, she stepped out of her shoes with minor difficulty. Her fidgeting must have alarmed him, because he stopped dead in his tracks. Damn it, startling him was not her intention.

"It's ok…" she babbled, "just needed to get out of my shoes, is all."

He nodded almost imperceptibly and invited her with a muted: "Sit."

It wasn't a command, nor a plea – it was more like an uncertain offer.

She obliged.

Now, when she was no longer standing in the way of the light, she could see his features better. He was looking at her like he was afraid she'd disappear at any moment, his expression full of reluctance and wonder. If she didn't know any better, she would say it looked like he was under a spell.

It seemed as if he was afraid of making the wrong move. Well, that was dumb. He'd made all the damn moves on her already, _right_ ones to boot, so why was his uncertainty rising to the surface now?

Could it be that he was having the same doubts as she did? No, that would be ridiculous. But, still… what if?

Her thoughts came to an abrupt end when his right hand outstretched to brush against her neck and tangle in her hair. She closed her eyes on instinct and let out a brief moan of satisfaction before their lips met.

No matter how soft and gentle their kiss was, even though she certainly didn't mind, her impatience flared up, and she hurried to deepen it. She clutched his shoulders, unable to stop herself. The slight pressure on her spine made her lean back until she was lying on the bed, and she was infinitely pleased that he followed without separating from her. Her hands crawled under his shirt and found the bare skin of his shoulders. She pushed his shirt down with contempt – it had no business stopping her from reaching anywhere she wanted to.

She bit his lower lip playfully and felt him stiffen for a fraction of a second. He repaid the favor by gently sucking on _her_ lower lip and she arched her back. He was playing dirty again, bastard.

She couldn't remember the last time a simple kiss had whipped her into a frenzy. No, wait… She totally could.

Stupid pawnbroker, amazing and completely unaware of it.

With a gasp, her eyes flew open. He was kissing her neck, the thumb of his left hand brushing against her right shoulder, and she shivered involuntarily. Such a small touch, but more perfect than anything she could imagine while lost in her passion.

"I want you…" she murmured into his hair, unaware of the exact volume of her voice. It could have been a plaintive cry, or a whisper, she honestly couldn't tell.

Whether he heard it or not, his touches became more urgent afterwards, and she knew – delaying it any further would make her go crazy.

She reached for his belt and fumbled to unbuckle it. After two failed attempts, his hand joined hers and she felt a jolt of electricity where their skin met. The belt made a soft thud when he tossed it onto the carpet and she found it hard to breathe when he pulled her fly down.

His hands were _shaking_.

This shouldn't have added to her excitement, but it did. In her head, it meant that this wasn't just some random sex-thing for him, and opened a possibility, that maybe, just maybe, she was special.

No, not special in that 'special someone' way, but in a 'something that matters' way. He didn't treat her like something on the side. He made her feel appreciated, _cherished_ even.

What a weird thought, Mr. Gold cherishing someone.

She was so deep in thought that she barely noticed when her pants were no longer _on_ her, the slight chill in the air sobering her enough to see that he had managed to take his shirt off entirely, and was currently in the process of shimmying out of his trousers.

God only knew what was guiding her actions, but she scooted closer to him, leaned against his arm and kissed his shoulder. Not a moment later, his eyes were on her, strangely focused and clear.

"Nickel for your thoughts?" she asked hopefully, hiding her gentle smile behind his shoulder.

He licked his upper lip and looked away from her eyes. There was no time to be disappointed, because the next thing he did was brush the bra-strap off of her left shoulder. An involuntary tremble betrayed exactly _how_ amazing that felt, and from that point on, the world turned into a shapeless blur. All she knew was that she was kissing him harder than she had ever kissed anyone before. At some point, the moans coming from her throat stopped being embarrassing and turned into nothing more than background noise. One of his hands slid between her breasts, his fingers trailing down her abdomen until they hesitated near the hem of her gray cotton panties.

Without a second thought, her right hand joined his and guided it underneath.

The slight twitch of his fingers made her gasp, and she squirmed for him.

"_There's no way you can't tell what you're doing to me…" _she thought, barely coherent.

Before she knew what was going on, her legs were already spread and she was clutching the blanket with both hands to attempt to regain her senses.

It proved an impossible task.

His arm was trembling. For a brief moment, she wondered why.

"_Oh."_

All of his weight had been on his left arm for God knows how long. Of course it would hurt.

"Lie on your back," she suggested.

He collapsed on her right side and she snuggled against him, gently tracing her fingertips against the still-contracting muscles of his left arm. When she looked up at him, his gaze was directed to the place where she was touching. He seemed angry somehow, looking at it with disdain.

It made her feel wary for a second, before she realized that he had no reason to be upset at her.

He _hated_ the weakness he ended up revealing by accident.

She had an overwhelming surge of sympathy, as well as a desire to reassure him. But what if he took it the wrong way? Maybe she should just pretend that she hasn't noticed. Men had their pride, even the meekest ones (which he certainly wasn't).

Ruby chose to ignore the situation altogether and trailed a finger down his torso. He twitched and she couldn't help but smirk. As long as his mind was focused on _other_ things, there's no way he'd have time to think about all the unpleasant stuff.

She climbed on top of him and looked at his face to see his reaction. He gritted his teeth and grabbed her left wrist.

"Easy there, I don't bite," she reassured teasingly, "hard."

That seemed to had made him regain his senses, and he let go of her arm. As soon as she saw that the coast was clear, she resumed her initial course of action.

His boxers were silky smooth, and by the feel of them – embroidered? She had no idea how to feel about that, except that he was an extravagant guy. She tugged them down carefully, and he sat up to help her remove them. Her head snapped up, and she was immediately met with his intent brown eyes, focused solely on her. His stare was way too intense. It seemed to her like he was asking her to provide an answer to a difficult question, an answer likely too hard to come by, so she had to break the spell by kissing him with all she had.

Hopefully, he wouldn't be immune to desire.

He responded with the kind of enthusiasm she didn't expect he could muster after the hesitant beginnings of this evening. At once, his hands were around her, touching everywhere he seemed to be able to think of – her neck, shoulders, ribs, back, between her shoulder blades, along her spine…

As she squirmed from pleasure, sighing into his mouth, she felt his excitement clearly – he was hard against her inner thigh.

She snaked her right hand behind her to guide him inside.

The soft gasp he made when she sank onto him was worth _everything_.

Whether it was desire, desperation, or him simply losing his mind (or all three), she wasn't sure, but whatever it was that now drove him left her whimpering and begging for more; not with words, but with every needy touch, every raspy moan.

They collapsed onto the bed together and her thighs were grateful for it. His hands were now unapologetically grasping her hips, helping their thrusts, whose – didn't really matter.

She held his head with both hands, trying desperately to prolong the tide of pleasure that was already trying to push her over the edge.

With other men, it took longer. Always. But not with him. And she had no idea why. Was it because he seemed more affected by her? No… other guys barely needed a touch from her to get all hot and bothered… Maybe it had nothing to do with any of it?

The next thing she knew, she was gasping for breath, feeling unbearably tight.

The gravelly sound he made against her throat sounded like a curse. He grabbed her left shoulder from behind and she felt him fall apart in her arms.

Before she could ruin the feeling by trying to rationalize it, the moment felt like the best thing she would ever experience.


	11. Chapter 10: It Was a Mistake

**A/N: Get ready for the drama, folks! These next couple of chapters are going to be full of it! Enjoy! =)**

* * *

Even though she was working the afternoon shift the next day, Ruby still left early. If you could call eight thirty in the morning early. She certainly could. There was no helping it though; he had to open the pawnshop. Ruby had no idea _why_ he had to, God knows that he didn't really need the money, but she assumed that it was probably a hobby. Plus, the man was a creature of habit; not opening up might arouse suspicion, and she certainly didn't want anyone sniffing into his business now that she herself was a part of it.

Mercifully, Granny stayed at the diner to do the books, so when Ruby came back home she could go straight to her room to take a nap.

As she lay in bed, images of last night kept flashing before her eyes. Even now, after an exhausting shift (Leroy managed to make one of the other waitresses cry – again), she could still feel the echoes of all the sensations acutely, like they had been making love just moments before.

She stopped herself before she was able to think another word.

"_Making love? Seriously Rubes? Since when was screwing Mr. Gold considered making love?"_

Her brain could be such a nasty piece of work sometimes. No, she categorically refused to refer to their carnal activities as lovemaking. There was no love there. Just because they weren't particularly rough on one another yesterday didn't mean that there were any romantic feelings involved all of a sudden.

They had an arrangement, nothing more. Perhaps the boundaries haven't been set clearly enough, but that was something she didn't find a problem with at the moment.

A slight feeling of dread pooled in her stomach. This felt like substituting. Her eyes stung.

He would surely yell at her and call her a slut.

No, he wouldn't. He could never. Not her. He wasn't the type. He had always been nice to her.

Before she could stop herself, tears rolled out of the corners of her eyes. This was so messed up. Ruby was sure now that all of this had been just one huge mistake. There was no way she had fallen so low. As the nauseating mantra "_what was I thinking?" _kept reverberating in her brain, she clamped her mouth shut and sobbed in silence.

She never should have let things get so out of hand.

He would be so disappointed. That thought was more than she could handle.

"I didn't mean to… I'm so sorry…" she muttered incoherently between the sobs.

This had to stop. Ruby didn't even feel like herself anymore. Gold was stirring up the very worst part of her, the part she was sure she had firmly under control. Fat chance. That slithery black shadow craved his company and wouldn't be denied, but she felt like she was slowly losing to it. The darkness was going to win.

Why could nobody see it? It was so obvious, so expressed, how could anyone overlook its manifestation?

It seemed now that Gold had been right in his hesitation all along. He must have seen it coming. All this time she was sure that he was afraid of intimacy, when he was, in fact, reading her better than anyone ever did. He must have known that she would bolt long before it even occurred to her as a possibility.

She had to run away.

No, running away never solved anything, or at least that's what everyone was so insistent on. What would Granny say? She'd be heartbroken, that was for sure. What about Ash? Surely she would miss her? What would Mary Margaret say? No, she was too busy with her new boy toy to care. She still didn't find the time to tell Ruby about it! It was disappointing and hurtful at the same time. To have to find out through the grapevine about her best friend's love life wasn't something she enjoyed. Nope, Mary Margaret probably wouldn't even notice that she was gone. That thought made her angry.

Was her life really so pathetic that she could count the number of her true friends on the fingers of one hand? Wait, she only had one left? Mary Margaret was ignoring her and Granny was family, so yes. Just one friend.

One pregnant, sweet and sometimes whiny friend.

Ruby felt dreadful. Is this what she had become? Bitter towards the only people who give a damn about her? This wasn't what she had in mind for her life at all.

But then again, neither did she plan the affair with the pawnbroker.

Damn it! In her frenzy, she had forgotten entirely about the source of her misery.

Source of her pleasure.

"_No! "_

What was he to her? To define a person whose actions most of the time defied all logic or reason, she felt like her mental capacities fell embarrassingly short. Despite all the time they had spent together, they weren't truly close.

How would he feel if she left? Would he be hurt? Would he even care? Should she face him with her fears and see what he had to say about them?

Probably not. He would no doubt find her too troublesome to deal with and cast her away. And she'll be damned if some old bastard dared spit in her face!

It was decided.

She'd pick up her savings, get the car that was currently being repaired (Billy had promised it'd be fixed tomorrow) and leave for Boston, just like she had planned when she was back in high school. And this time, no amount of unforeseen circumstances or Granny's heart attacks would stop her.

She'd break this dark spell hanging over her and start anew, far away from this cursed little town.

Ruby wiped her eyes and got up. She'd get her coffee tin box, stash all the cash she had inside into her purse, snatch her suitcase and stuff it with the first articles of clothing she could find on her shelf.

A sense of calm washed over her in the midst of panic. Things were going to get better. They had to. She'd leave her darkness buried in Storybrooke. That was just how things were supposed to be.

Everything was going to be just fine.

As she was folding clothing into her suitcase, her cell rang. She answered in a daze, barely registering who was calling this late.

"What's up, Ash?" Ruby blurted out mechanically. She didn't really care about anybody else's problems right now.

"_Oh my God, Ruby… You gotta help me!"_

Ashley's frantic voice had a sobering effect, because Ruby found herself paying full attention. Something felt off. Ash was overly emotional, but never to the point of a full-blown panic attack.

"What's wrong, hun?" Ruby wanted to ask more, but her throat constricted.

Ashley was sobbing incoherently into the receiver.

"_I think… I think I killed Mr. Gold!" _


	12. Chapter 11: History Repeating

**A/N: Ooooh, here's the promised drama as well as some revelations I've been trying to foreshadow... The next chapter might be tardy because my beta is a busy bee. Enjoy and tell me what you think! =D **

**P.S. Sorry about the weird italics everywhere, most is Ashley's voice over the receiver and some of it are Ruby's thoughts. I apologize in advance if anyone finds it confusing. **

* * *

Ashley was sobbing incoherently into the receiver.

"_I think… I think I killed Mr. Gold!" _

Ruby froze.

"_It wasn't on purpose! I didn't even know he would be there, I saw him leave, I swear!" _Ashley was babbling_:" I just… I just wanted to take my life back!"_

She must have misheard something. Ash wasn't making any sense. The sudden buzzing in her ears wasn't helping either.

"_He fell and he wasn't moving, and I didn't even check his pulse! What if he's dead? What if I killed him? I didn't mean to, I swear it, Ruby, I swear!_"

This wasn't happening.

She needed to sit down, fast. Losing all sensation in her legs wasn't a good sign.

Ruby felt strangely detached all of a sudden, like she was trapped in an operation room, floating above her comatose body, vivisected and on the razor-thin edge of life and death.

The buzzing in her ears was getting worse, and made her remember the time when she nearly drowned as a little girl. Granny dragged her out in time and held her in an iron embrace without a word for half an hour. She still got a spanking later.

The feeling of pressure in her ears was getting unbearable. There's no way she would be able to go through the same thing again. No. This wasn't true. Gold couldn't be dead. Ash was just panicking.

"Ash, stop!" She half-yelled. This wasn't real, couldn't be. Ash was incapable of murder. And Gold, he wouldn't die so easily, would he? But Ashley was nearly delirious and Ruby couldn't piece together what had happened from her fragmented thoughts.

Ruby needed to calm her hysterical friend before she could expect a coherent answer.

"Slow down and take it from the beginning. Breathe, ok? Just breathe."

What delicious irony, Ruby thought. Telling someone else to breathe while she herself had forgotten how to.

Ashley sniffled and produced a sound similar to that of wiping her nose. She didn't calm down, because Ruby could still hear the trembling in her voice, but she was at least trying to articulate.

"_I broke into Mr. Gold's pawnshop…"_

"You did WHAT?" Ruby nearly screamed into her cell. "Why would you do that?!"

Ashley made a whimpering noise.

"_I wanted to steal the contract…I can't let him take my baby, Ruby, I just can't!"_

Something about her plaintive tone made Ruby cave in. This was her best friend on the phone, pregnant, alone and scared out of her mind. All this stress couldn't be good for her or the baby. What kind of a friend would she be if she didn't do everything in her power to help?

Ash was there for her at the funeral. Ash was there for her when she could barely stand, the entire first week after his death; sleeping next to her, soothing her and telling her that everything would be alright. Ash was always there with a sympathetic look, and it meant the world. She didn't ask the right questions like Mary Margaret did, but Ruby preferred it that way because she couldn't handle any. Ash didn't know how to articulate her feelings well, but Ruby could feel her love and support in every concerned look, in every gentle squeeze of her hand. That wasn't enough, but it meant so much. She had been secretly afraid that she would never be able to be such a good friend to her, but this was the "make or break" situation that would show whether Ruby had what it took.

She had to try.

"Hey… Hey, it's ok sweetie… No need to get defensive with me. But where is this coming from? I'm not judging, you know I'm not, but… You did sign it. What changed your mind?"

"_I had a talk with someone. A blonde, I don't know who she is, but… She gave me courage. She's been in the same situation and… she gave her baby up. I saw the way she looked, Ruby, she wasn't happy with her choice. I know that nobody thinks I can have this baby on my own… I'm still not sure I can, but…I want to try. I don't want to make a decision I'm going to regret for the rest of my life."_

It would seem that Emma Swan was the indirect cause of all this. She wondered what the woman would say when faced with the accusation. If Gold was dead… No. Even if he was, it wasn't because of the Swan woman. It's not like she told Ashley to turn burglar.

Ruby couldn't find the words. Of course Ash had the right to raise her kid if she wanted to, that wasn't in question.

"I'm on your side, hun. I always will be. If that's what you want, I'm 100% behind you. Screw Sean, you wouldn't be the first single mom out there. The squirt will always have free pie at Granny's."

Ashley managed a weak laugh through a sniffle.

"Now tell me _exactly_ what happened." Any second wasted here could mean someone's life, and Ruby was done wasting time.

The girl took a deep breath and began: "_I waited until closing time and when Gold disappeared around the corner, I broke in."_

"How the hell did you manage that?" Ruby wondered out loud. Ash wasn't exactly the burgling type; neither would her constitution (pregnancy aside) enable her to pry anything open with a crowbar. And she couldn't imagine the demure girl fiddling with bobby pins to unlock the door either.

"_I broke the glass with a brick."_

Ruby gasped. That was both incredibly ingenuous and horribly stupid at the same time. She was impressed. Or, she would be, if she wasn't plagued by the image of her lover currently bleeding out on the floor of his shop. No, this wouldn't be the same. It wasn't a car accident. What were the chances of him bleeding so profusely?

"_I came in and then he showed up out of nowhere! He would have stopped me, and I just reacted on instinct!"_

"Yes, ok, I get that," Ruby was getting impatient "but what did you _do?"_

"_I maced him. I know, not the best idea, but I needed that contract! He hit his head on a cabinet before he collapsed on the floor. I didn't think anything of it at the time, I just grabbed the keys off of him and took my contract back. I left the keys in the safe and left. He was so still, Ruby, I thought he was just unconscious, but what if he broke his neck? I didn't want to kill him!" _

Ashley was dissolving back into panic and Ruby needed to intervene.

"Guys like him don't die that easy, Ash. Don't worry."

Ruby laughed bitterly on the inside: _"Really? This soothing stuff is totally working out for you, isn't it?"_

"_What if he lives? He'll come after me, I just know it! He would have me arrested! I can't have a baby in jail!"_

"Graham would never arrest you, and I'd like to see either of them try." She said darkly. Ash wasn't as tough as she was, at least not now. She had messed up while fighting for something most precious to her. She deserved a chance to make it. And Ruby would do everything in her power to make it happen. "They lay one finger on you, and I'd break their arms in so many places they'd look like frickin' origami."

"_I need to run away, I can't stay here… he'll never let me go…"_

"Pack your stuff. Now."

"_Wh-what? I-"_

"Didn't you say you'd run? Pack your stuff and be on stand-by. Billy's gonna deliver the car tomorrow morning, I'll send you a text when it's ready."

"_But, where will I go? I- I got no money-"_

"I'll give you my savings. It should be enough to get you started."

"_Ruby, I can't-"_

"Yes you can. And you will. I'm not letting you get hurt no matter how this ends. Got that?"

Ashley sniffled once more, but offered no resistance.

"_Ok… But… what are we going to do about him? We could call the police and pretend we saw someone else?"_

"Are you crazy? No! Way too many questions you wouldn't have an answer to… Leave him to me."

"_What are you gonna do?"_

"If he's alive, talk to him. Convince him not to sue you."

"_H-how would you do that?"_

"_By kissing him senseless out of sheer joy that I won't need to toss the first lump of earth into his grave? By sleeping with him, just to make sure that he was still there?"_

The thoughts left her feeling utterly wretched.

"By not finishing him off then and there." Ruby said grimly.

Images were flashing in front of her eyes: the mangled wreck of the car, the grim look on the nurse's face as she was pulling the metal slab out, the outline of the body which was not quite whole under that pristine white sheet… And the added effect of screeching tires she couldn't, for the love of her, get out of her head, despite the fact that she wasn't there to witness it…

"_And if he's already… dead?"_

That was the one thought Ruby couldn't handle anymore. The urge to run to his side was getting so unbearable, that she was a single breath away from jumping out of her skin.

Ruby swallowed and spoke in a deep, scratchy voice: "I'll bury him in the woods."

"_You'd do that for me?"_

Ruby felt something inside her breaking.

"Yes. Yes I would."


End file.
